my world

aboutme}

★Entries}

♫Tagboard}

%Goodbyes}

QUOTE

LAZE
GAZE
DAZE
what a life

About Me

somethings are best kept secret.

Memories

31 December 2006 - 02:29

memories are costly.
memories are priceless.
memories do not last.
memories do have values.
memories can be negative.
memories can be positive.
memories can make one weaker.
memories can make one stronger.
memories bring you the virtual world.
memories bring you the improvised world.

you choose what you want to see in your memories.

I read one of my friends' blog today and his post seems to reflect the kind of experience I had during his time. It just brings back memories of the time when the O level results were released.
The sun was smiling and the sky was happy.

That day could be the most beautiful day and yet it could also be one of the most darkest day of someone's life.

All dressed up and ready to go, my heart was beating normally. I wasn't excited at all neither was I feeling any sense of enjoyment. I stayed calm and easy but deep inside me, somewhere I felt dreadful. "Is something going to happen?" I asked myself.

Through the gate the car passed, I remained the same with neither excitement nor anxiety. Thinking it was due to the sleepless nights, I went to the hall with a smile forced onto my face.

Students were chatting along happily as they have missed each other for the whole 3 months. Like me, they were happy to see their old schoolmates. But unlike me, they seem joyful as they await the next big thing.

I looked at the teachers walking in and out of the office. I scanned the environment I was in. There were no smiles or congratulation from the teachers I know. Everyone kept themselves away from the students. This strange feeling I had grew stronger and I knew something unexpected is going to happen. But what was it?

Walking to the door on my way into the hall, I saw a teacher who I knew. He was warm and all kind, but he just showed me a comfort smile as I said "Hi." What has happened?

Ms. Cheng was the speaker for that day. She was one of the best teachers I ever met. She kept focusing and repeating this phrase "This is not the end. Remember." Whenever she says that phrase I had the feeling she was directing it to me. But why?

From that point on, I have forseen the outcome of my results. I failed English with a 7 and left the hall silently on that day.

The memory I had then were the happy faces of the students. Everyone was congratulating one another and some were even jumping in joy. I felt lost then and all I wanted to do was to head back home.

I met my parents in the car and felt reluctant and ashamed to hand them my results. This feeling was similar to the one I had when I got my PSLE results. Knowing that I was posted to the Normal Academic stream, I was devastated and embarrassed to call my mum.

As I handed them the results, I hold back my tears and said very proudly "I got a 7 for English." Like always, my parents knew I was never academically strong and was happy that I was applicable to enter into a Polytechnic.

"I never wanted you to go to a JC. I am happy that you can go to a poly. You did your best." my mum replied.

Deep in her heart, I knew my mum had pinned high hopes on me into getting into a Junior College. Likewise, I had also set myself prepared to enter into a JC and did really well for all my subjects. But this dream was crashed by a piece of paper that I didn't do well.

On the way home in the car, I appeared to be normal holding back the tears. Silence befalls in the car. No one said anything and no one ask anything. I look out the window seeing the happy faces of the students on the street. Why can't I be like them?

Upon reaching home, I closed the door behind me and my vision became blur. I knew what had happened and sat there sobbing. "Why am I so stupid?" I asked myself.

Night came and it was bedtime. I had a chat with my parents and went to bed shortly. As I closed my eyes, I felt my cheeks getting wet. I asked myself, "Why am I so stupid?"

My friend called me the next day and asked how I was doing. He seems aware of the situation and said the teachers were looking for me yesterday. My mouth trembled and I said "I'm ok." As soon as the conversation ended, I put down the phone and my eyes felt damped. I asked myself, "Why am I so stupid?"

A day with lots of questions

29 December 2006 - 23:30

time flies with nothing to worry.

time flies with nothing to miss.

time flies with nothing to feel.

time flies with nothing to leave behind.

But as time flies we have nothing to keep that time alive.

Cherish what you have and do not miss the time that was once alive.

Went to the usual place at Macs located near Raffles station to discuss on my FOM project. We only have 1 week left to complete it and time is running short. Pray that we'll be able to accomplish it in time. GO! GO! GO!

Nothing really happen today. I had BBQ Chicken for dinner at Carls Junior located at Plaza Sing. The last when I had a meal there was like 2 to 3 years ago. The meal is simply fulfilling.

Oh ya. When I was on my way entering Plaza Sing from Dhooby Ghaut station, a girl approached me and asked "Are you a student?" (Don't bother reading this if you don't have time. I just wanted my blog to look longer.)

I went like, "Ya..."

"Which school?"

"Singapore Poly."

"Which year?" she asked.

And at that point I was wondering what is she going to sell? Maybe she's giving away some free laptop or something that I could use in school. Or she has something else in mind...?

"Year 1" I replied.

"Do you work part time? How much do you save per month?"

Hey lady, I don't really know you and why do you want to know how much I saved per month?

"Do you save up to 50 or hundred per month?"

Even if I do have savings why should I be telling you?

"No and about there I guess..."

At this point she handed me a pen and I was thinking is this some kind of a free gift for answering all her mysterious questions?

"Can you do a survey form for me?"

Finally, she came to the point.

"Ya, sure."

I sat down and did the survey. There were other people sitting around circular tables with I believe to be the girl's colleagues as well. The people were explaining things that I couldn't hear. That reminds me, why couldn't I hear anything at that point of time?

"Are you not from local?"

And I went like, "Don't I look like one?"

"No lah" (She means you look local)

Then why did you ask?

"Which course are you in?" she continued asking.

"Business Information Technology."

I wanted to say DBIT but I was afraid she will not know what is it.

"BIT" she said.

So she knew after all. I reckon she's a poly graduate or student.

And she asked me questions again. "Why choose Singapore Poly?"

"Where do you live? How long is the journey? Is is tiring?"

Hey sister, I don't really know what your motive is but can you allow me to complete the survey first so that I can leave here as quickly as possible.

"Seragoon. 40 minutes to an hour. No!"

"How old are you?"

"18"

"Your brother?"

Why do you want to know?

"19"

I couldn't remeber how old my brother was. He should be 2 years older than me but I keep thinking is one year older. Do you want to know my parents age too?

"Your birthday falls on the same day as my friend."

I should be happy for you...

"Guo Hua, my name is pei feng and I'm here to discuss with you about this savings scheme that we have. Let me ask you, if some one has cash, where will he keep his cash for the longest period?"

Are you testing my intelligence?

"The bank..."

"As you know the bank will only give you an interest rate of ..."

"0.02 % per month"

"No, 0.25% a year. And that is 0.02% per month. And you are right."

Please get your facts right.

"Have you heard about this scheme before?"

"Yes.The one from AIA."

"Oh. So why didn't you sign up?"

Because I don't see the need to.

"Because I was in a rush at that point of time and I missed it."

"Can you make independent decision?"

Of course most of you will go like "Yes I can". But my advice to you is to say...

"I normally have to discuss things with my parents first."

You may call me dumbfolded, but the result was

"What's my name?"

I was trying to recall and she bark in and asked

"What's my name?"

"Pei.....(thinking real hard) feng."

"Ya, remember it and I'll be calling you soon about your decision to sign up for our scheme.My name is Pei Feng."

So,you want me to remember your name or the scheme? I will choose the scheme.

And I left without any free gift and laptop.

A good day to start with

28 December 2006 - 21:49

the sky looks gloomily

and the soil is soggy

Looking out the window we see that it is raining again. My vacation has rather being wet and slippery. I’m into my second week of vacation and one more week to go. Time is running short…

What have you been up to? you ask.

I know I’ve not been blogging for a very long time. The sudden mood to blog today was due to the weather. It is not that I’m feeling down or anything. I just have this urge to share something and I thought of blogging.

My Vacation. What have I done?

The happiest moment of my vacation was when I had lunch with my secondary school friends and watched the movie, Eragon with them. Those were the best moment.

a big thanks to all of you. May the New Year bring you lot of joys…

I’ve been visiting the swimming pool lately. This is a promise I make to myself to visit the pool as least once a week. The reason is of course to keep my mind active, but the primary reason is keep myself calm. With all the assignments and projects flooding into my mind, it’s time I ought to do something that I like and beneficial to me.

just last week I was at the pool for 6 hours and swam even though it was raining

Even though it is the VACATION, poly students are not spared from assignments and projects. I’ve two final semester projects now and they each carry a rather high percentage of my total marks. Hope that my group can score really high in them.

As soon as the break is over, I’ll be having my Accounting CA2. This is the module that I dislike the most, but is the module that I’ve to do well in. Oh well, wish me lots of luck.

before the vacation started, all my lecturers wished us HAPPY VACATION. How happy can this vacation be?

My parents and I visited COURTS the one in Tampines just 2 days ago. The building consists of 3 levels with a canteen at the second level. I was asked to get a flat screen monitor for my computer as my parents wanted my study table to look spacious… I hope you got one too. You know who I’m referring too.

We went over to Pakway Parade as well. It’s been a really long time since I last shopped there.

you should try the food that the canteen in COURTS sells. The food is splendidly disgusting. I had chicken curry and it tasted like water plus salt and a little spice added into it. The chicken tasted as if it was kept in the fridge for ages

This year’s Christmas is rather quiet and dead. Normally when such an occasion arises, I’ll be hearing people shouting MERRY CHRISTMAS at the top of their voices around my block. But this year, it seems like I’ve entered the dead street. If any teacher ever wants pin drop silence, they should come down here and have it.

here’s wishing everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

These are the wonderful events that happened. Other than these, I’ve been lazing at home and doing my projects.

That’s all.

Have to get working now.

See ya soon.

Nice to see ya

10 December 2006 - 22:56

It's been a very long long time again.

I've been really busy these 2 months. Assignments and projects just keep piling up one after another. Switching on my computer to finish up my assignments everyday has become my daily routine. It is the first 'mission' that I've to do to complete my 'task'.

Anyway, a few friends and I are embarking on this charity project called Project Vibrant Colour (PVC). Bascially we've already choose the beneficiary that we will be committeed to until next February.

During this period, I would ask all my freinds and readers of this blog to aid me in this project by collecting as many used and unused pens as possible. My group is targeting a toatl of 10,000 pens, which each pen will contirbute 50 cents to the beneficiary that we are helping. Please do give us your support and leava a tag or contact me when you wish to make any contribution.

Thank You so much!
A million thanks!