First and foremost, let me wish you a very Happy Chinese New Year and may the year of the rat brings you lots of wisdom and creativity.

Chinese New Year is never the same each year. As every new year commences, the people I see and recognized as relatives get lesser and lesser. Chinese New Year (CNY) seems to be a child's dream to meet many people, get lots of angpoa and say well wishes without knowing the purpose and are often taught to say them because their parents told them to as a form of respect to the elders. In return, we see the smiling faces of the elders not knowing the story behind their past or whether their intentions were ever genuine.

If you asked what keeps CNY going in Singapore these days, my answer would be our grandparents. Grandparents are the reason that the seemingly true CNY exists till today. They are the key characters that remind their children to visit them only at this time of the year. Reunion dinner is nothing much but a facade to stage their children's filial and piety towards them. It is nothing much but to keep their parents happy on this very one and only occasion.

When our grandparents meet their makers, families that share the same blood become strangers and pretends become a norm. They will try with any means and methods to define the true meaning of isolation and desertion by avoiding any of them even to take a peek. If they meet coincidentally, smiles that are drawn by both parties' faces will mean nothing but "I am not exactly really happy to see you" gesture.

From the ignorant kid to a semi conscious teenager, I realize that many times the above drama takes place revolves around the issue of money and gaining favoritism. Money comes into the picture when the adults always claim that they do not have enough cash to support the elderly and wish that the other siblings do their part in supporting them. The younger siblings revoke and claim that "You are doing so well what. I still have to feed a family of 5 with 3 small children who are still studying." The elder will come in and say, "You can handle one. Times are bad and my salary isn't increasing." And sometimes you really wonder how the family of 5 is able to afford a condominium and a posh car and the the person who has been working all this while is receiving incentives from their children and there seem to be not enough for their retirement age.

And when one party is willing to play the goodie-two-shoes, the others become jealous and whine that they are putting on a good act so that they will be able to receive most of the assets from the elders. They become bitter and start showing displeasures and unhappiness with all the drama. They think that with as much favoritism gain, the amount of assets obtain increases as well. But as parents themselves, have they ever wonder if they would be so biased to the point that their assets will be unevenly distributed to their own children? Or the question of whether there is any asset worth fighting for the very first place?

As we ponder these questions, we sit down and ask ourselves,"If we are so capable and we believe in our own potential, is there a need to fight for anything among ourselves? What have our grandparents or parents ever done to receive this treatment and be the main character of this childish play?"

Generations after generations, will the Chinese New Year legacy ever be taught and passed to our children properly with the right cultural practices? Or will our elders be the nameless characters of our immature act in our story?

"FAMILY means father and mother I love you"