Is not easy, definitely not easy
06 April 2008 - 14:16
Is not easy, definitely not easy...
I was reading through some of the blogs today. And the thing I expected to happen has eventually taken place. Though it doesn't have a direct impact on me, but I feel so helpless knowing that I can't do anything to prevent this catastrophe from happening.
"Sometimes things are meant to happen. But it is not important to know how they happen but how to resolve them."
Working in a group is not easy, definitely not easy when our closest friends are concerned. We always have to be mindful of when to say the right things at the right time and how to sweeten every bad comments we have so that our parities' feelings do not get dampen or worst still, HURT. If it is friendship that we are trying to maintain making us do the above mentioned, what exactly is a truthful friendship then?
"I often asked myself if I am doing the right thing for you, or am I destroying you?"
Playing the bad person is not easy, definitely not easy when everyone starts to hate you instead of thanking you. Humans are weird creatures filled with anger and hatred, often triggered not by their sanity but largely from their emotions. And sadly to say, that negative side of ours is what keeping us together. To believe that bonds between friends are built based on love and trust is nothing but a fairy tale story. A community is built not because of the flowery word call LOVE, but our interest in a common enemy.
Recall every conversations you have with your group of friends and do you remember that a subject is always mentioned and discussed in your carefree discussions? And every time this subject is brought up, we exhaust ourselves in this discussion so much so that sometimes we offset the fact that who are we to speak about him/her? Unless we are Mr and Mrs Perfects, which hardly anyone is, maybe is time for us to consider thanking that person for bringing us together.
"If it wasn't for me being your subject of conversation, will you still be friends?"
Becoming a leader is not easy, definitely not easy when you are blamed unjustifiably. If you haven't noticed, the easiest way to safeguard your face from sticky situations is to dump the blame on someone. Very often someone who is, in your own opinion, lower than you? All we have to do is to push the responsibility to a particular person using our weights often refer to as "POSITION" or "SENIORITY" or simply put "OLD AGE".
Looking at our current practices in Singapore, as long as you are younger than someone, you are deemed to be inexperienced or childish often used by "SENIORS" who have limits to their vocabulary. Because we are young and capable, these seniors are simply jealous of our talents and given their limited spend of time, and their fear of losing or being shunned away because they are too senior, they throw all kinds of nonsensical tantrums and blaming others except themselves. Very often, their excuse would be, "I have already told you to do this this this and that that that. It is because of your mistakes that I am facing all the unnecessary troubles. You have to take responsible for it. I know you too well. You are not fit to be a leader."
Hold your horses senior. Before jumping to thesis that I am to be blamed for everything, please look at the bigger picture.
Firstly, can you scale how big my mistake is? I know even if it is a minor mistake and I can't do them well, does that give you any grounds to justify that I am incapable of doing something within your scope as well?
Secondly, the reason that you have assigned the job to me is because you trusted me in accomplishing them let say on behalf of you. And if you come blaming at the very second the job was not being done, have you schemed up every steps so that you can put the blame on me and push me to my limits?
Thirdly, which part of our conversation did I ever state that I didn't officially get the job done for you? Did you give me a chance to explain things first before storming your fouling temper on me?
Fourthly, after hearing me out and if you see that I have done something so wrong, will it be too late for you to be raging on me, dear senior?
Lastly, couldn't you just question me politely like how all other respectable seniors often known as honourable leaders will do? I am your subordinate learning to be a respectable leader like you. Or do you wish that I become your other side?
"So often that we are enraged at times, we miss out the big picture. Calm down and take things further. There is no point in bringing out our past mistakes and carry them on. A learning journey is all we should embark on now together."
I hereby apologise if somehow the scenarios above have inevitably in a way similar to any cases you have so happen to experience it before. I declare that I have written this post from personal point of view and self expression. In fact, none of the above mentioned have I ever experienced it before. Any unmistakably scenes should be taken objectively and be used as points of information. Any subjects or names mentioned are coincidental and should not be taken into any real account. I thank you for reading this post and hope to see you again.