And I say, 'Tis never to be loved and lost, than having to love at all.'

In a world of complexity and mismatch, what sustains the wonderful creation of love and how much value it holds? Love, an intangible and weightless force can fill ones empty shell with the juices of joy and laughter. Yet it can encapsulate anyone to the bottomless pit of despair and pain.

Our creation was never to be single to begin with but a pair with opposite features, needs and sometimes belief. To believe it or not, love makes unification of opposite ends possible. We compromise and give up on many things such as freedom, privacy and sometimes our personal principals. We grumble and whine, yet we always end up saying, "I did all these things for you." But our inner self sometimes question, "Then who is making sacrifices for me?"

And when all things fail, we ask for a chance to change. "Just give me more time and you'll see how much I'll change for you." But have you ever asked yourself why are you remoulding yourself for someone who was a total stranger to you when you first met him/her. Maybe this is the unquestionable power of love. It erases your dignity, pride and even blinds you from reality.

Truth to be told, loves makes others jealous or to put it nicely, envious. When you see how others get in love so easily, you wonder if there's anything wrong with you. "How someone can do it yet I can't?" Is this a question of fate, destiny or maybe the time is not right yet? You decide because "only time can tell." Really?

Putting all things aside, without love, there will never be creation. Many things happen because we have the passion to make it happen. And passion comes a lot from sacrifices and love. Without the love from our parents, we will never be born and be brought up as respectable and refined people. The invention of cars, electricity, Internet will not have come true if not for the love of the inventors interests in these fields and the encouragement they received from they loved ones.

In a love relationship,we learn and experience many things. Every relationship carries different stories that we were once very committed to till kingdom comes. But in every breakup, lessons brought forth to us are always dismissed and the cycle repeat itself again. When will our love fairy tale ever come?

I know it has been a really long time since I've wrote anything on this wall. Today I had my Passing Out Parade and before that a 24 Km route march at 4 am in the morning that almost drag the living soul out of me. More to share in the next few posts.

Just before we pass out from BMT, we were asked to write our NS experiences in BMT. So this is what I wrote to keep you a little entertain.

My NS Experiences

110609. It was supposed to be my special day. Prior plans were made to celebrate my 21st birthday on an earlier day with my friends and family in a beautiful chalet near the seaside. And a letter from MINDEF like an arrow burst my dream bubble as it says “Your enlistment date is on 11-JUN-2009. Your reporting unit is TRAINING LIST BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTER SCHOOL 2.” Fate must be toying with me.

As I set foot on Tekong Island many thoughts and questions were running wild in my head. What should I be expecting? How should I answer to questions from my superior or the people around? What kind of people am I meeting and staying with? As more questions were left unanswered, my head was swirling and tummy was spinning like I am on a roller coaster ride. The only way to suppress the feeling was to think blankly. I wasn’t thinking. I was drifting.

Lost in a world of emptiness, I was called by many unfamiliar voices and faces. Confused, I took a step closer and reached out to their hands. The next moment, I was pulled out from my fear and endless questions. The suspicious faces became my closest buddies in BMT. Platoon 1, section 3 was my home on Tekong Island. We share many happy memories and fought through difficult times together. Our bonds were strong and I believe it will grow stronger as the time goes by.

“Tough times don’t last. Tough men do...”

As each day went by, the trainings get tougher. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to survive through those gruelling activities while combating with the unfavourable weather (the sun boils and the rain wets) on Tekong Island. From 21 strength training sessions to 10 over AGR and 60/120 runs. Range to hand grenade trainings and examinations. Plus the physically demanding field camp, SIT test which happened one after the other and urban trainings. And not forgetting SOC and IPPT training sessions and tests. Maybe it is true to say that tough times don’t last, but tough men do. But more importantly it is the decision we made that will make the difference.

If I say fear was never in my dictionary in my whole life, I must be kidding to myself. Each day in BMT, I fear for the activities that are happening the next day. Will I fall sick on the important trainings? Will I miss anything important because of my weakness or inability to participate tomorrow? I remember my first fear came during range. I was never trained to be a fighter and weapons were never a part of me. My personality was more like a saviour who uses words to reason and war was never an option unless the situation is urgent. You may say I am weak, but I fully understand what it means to be a soldier now. In times of great difficulties, we must have the courage to counter our fears and help those in need with our knowledge and ability. With the knowledge to reason and the ability to fight, we fight for a meaningful purpose and that is what a soldier must possess. I have counter most of my fears now. The fear of height during SOC and the fear of speaking in front of an audience have diminished through my training days in BMT.

As a common saying goes, “No one man can stay alive on his/her own.” I have met many great people during BMT. The times I shared with my commanders and friends are priceless and antique. I have learnt so much from my commanders and respect their role as great leaders of Singapore. My comrades, friends, buddies have helped me pass through every single day with joy and laughter. If there’s anything that I miss most in BMT, they will be the people in PEGASUS Company. Thank you all.