allumer contre l'obscurité

depart

2010-09-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

find me here

mind blowing

2010-05-08T00:07:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it just gets too irritating, but you know at the end of the day the result will be satisfactory. Not perfect, but something you can smile at.

O heaven, pave the road for me =]

choices, options, selections...

2010-04-28T07:18:00.001+08:00

something decisions are made not because we want, but the environment forces us to.

where the story ends

2010-04-24T02:23:00.002+08:00

I(we) have come to know

that I(we) was never alone

no matter which point in time

I(we) am always by your side

Now that I(we) have grown

stepping into a new game zone

I(we) slowly see you walking away

like how I(we) have predicted to be the way

I(we) flip open a fresh new page

only to know how much I(we) have aged

Looking back at the memories I(we) had

I(we) have never regretted that I(we) met

10 years, 30 years down the road

where I(we) grow weak and old

I(we) will always put on a smile

knowing there's someone waiting on the other mile

wonder

2010-04-08T23:18:00.002+08:00

you sound happy talking about it,

i smile just listening all of it.

a song to share

2010-04-04T23:15:00.002+08:00

The song "Home" sung by many artist. And here's from the band Westlife which is not really famous but well known for singing other great tracks.

In anyways, feeling down and all? Maybe this will put yourself all together. Just maybe, that bit of home could perk yourself a little. Enjoy and always know your Home is always the best place to be.

A day out with the DIVA

2010-04-03T22:07:00.006+08:00

Went to work, gym and met Diva at ION Orchard today.

Like always, he bought something. Yes a top and you will probably guess how it looks like =].

I had dinner dinner at The Soup Spoon for the first time. Initially, I had a hard time choosing between this and the Japanese Ramen restaurant on the opposite side. But I'm glad to say I didn't regret my choice. I had Tokyo Chicken Stew and Chicken Mushroom Wrap. They were really tasty and affordable. A good place to dine if you are looking for a healthier choice. I will be visiting that place again and try out some of their other dishes. A recommended place to adjust your taste bud and maybe your diet.

Diva and I chat and venture ION. Nothing really caught my eyes except this particular wallet from Fred Perry.

The leather finishing was attractive enough, but together with the awesome combination of blood red and black, the wallet seems so hard to resist. Not forgetting to mention the simplicity and palm held design of the wallet not only gives the look but the portability of its kind. If only it was 45 Sing Dollars and not pounds, I would have gotten it.

In any case, I will save and wait for the right moment to strike. Maybe there would be much better designs in the future. For now, I will stick with my 6 years old wallet who has walk through all kinds wear and tear.

questionfortheday

2010-04-02T23:52:00.003+08:00

Where is the best place to hold a party?

no chalet
no BBQ

must be simple
must be for you and me

justThinkAboutIt

2010-03-31T21:40:00.002+08:00

A mistake is not an excuse to make another mistake

Equivalent Exchange

2010-03-27T15:04:00.002+08:00

Equivalent exchange is about getting the amount of return with that amount of effort put in.
But does it apply to this world?

Newton's Third law of motion states that "For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." In the past, we believe our hard work will be paid off if we put our heart, mind and soul into anything. We have seen many accounts of successful people who have slogged their life away to achieve the status that some of them thought it was totally impossible. We admire and are indeed greatly inspired by their strengths and sacrifices they made to see the fruits of their labour.

If not for their great determination and quick thinking, the amount of sweat and blood they poured could not have transformed their cold solid stones into precious jewels. These are the people we salute and should be given a pad on the back and say, "Well done." They have fulfilled the principal of equivalent exchange and Newton's Third law of motion. Congratulations.

However, as humanity evolve and the world is largely occupied by heavy concrete walls, there are also a small group of people who happen to have lady luck on their side and strike at the right moment to collect the mile of gold which could have taken them ages to gather. We are talking about investors, who fall into the categories of stocks and properties - fanatics. The principal they follow in life, "Work less and gain much more."

We can't deny that those who succeed did not put in effort in doing their homework, understanding the market and picking up useful investment tactics. But their success is just too edgy for some of us to swallow. Maybe we are just jealous or too narrow minded to accept them. But there are a few sloths who we feel are so undeserving of such award. If we had a thunderbolt in our hands, at least more than half would have been strike by us.

What about inheritance? These are the lucky few who had the opportunity to fertilize and cultivate the legacy that was left by their past successors. As a bystander, I can't judge or even comment on the amount of effort they have put in to keep the ball rolling. But, does the principal of equivalent exchange apply in any of these area?

Let us not forget the bootlickers and sweet-talkers who made their way through promises and words they never meant to be. These people are also great dedicators who shift the work to you without you knowing how and when it happen. We just do it without question ask. The best part is we don't get recognize for our hard work and we get cast aside.

This could seem to be like an old grandmother whining and cursing the evolution of humanity. Rattling under her edgy voice that the world is unfair and injustice. Can we rebel? Do these people owe us an explanation or some words of comfort? Maybe all we can do is to grit our teeth and move on as if life is meant to be that way after-all.

Which is more complicated?

2009-09-14T14:06:00.006+08:00

Alfred Lord Tennyson once said in his poem,

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.'

And I say, 'Tis never to be loved and lost, than having to love at all.'

In a world of complexity and mismatch, what sustains the wonderful creation of love and how much value it holds? Love, an intangible and weightless force can fill ones empty shell with the juices of joy and laughter. Yet it can encapsulate anyone to the bottomless pit of despair and pain.

Our creation was never to be single to begin with but a pair with opposite features, needs and sometimes belief. To believe it or not, love makes unification of opposite ends possible. We compromise and give up on many things such as freedom, privacy and sometimes our personal principals. We grumble and whine, yet we always end up saying, "I did all these things for you." But our inner self sometimes question, "Then who is making sacrifices for me?"

And when all things fail, we ask for a chance to change. "Just give me more time and you'll see how much I'll change for you." But have you ever asked yourself why are you remoulding yourself for someone who was a total stranger to you when you first met him/her. Maybe this is the unquestionable power of love. It erases your dignity, pride and even blinds you from reality.

Truth to be told, loves makes others jealous or to put it nicely, envious. When you see how others get in love so easily, you wonder if there's anything wrong with you. "How someone can do it yet I can't?" Is this a question of fate, destiny or maybe the time is not right yet? You decide because "only time can tell." Really?

Putting all things aside, without love, there will never be creation. Many things happen because we have the passion to make it happen. And passion comes a lot from sacrifices and love. Without the love from our parents, we will never be born and be brought up as respectable and refined people. The invention of cars, electricity, Internet will not have come true if not for the love of the inventors interests in these fields and the encouragement they received from they loved ones.

In a love relationship,we learn and experience many things. Every relationship carries different stories that we were once very committed to till kingdom comes. But in every breakup, lessons brought forth to us are always dismissed and the cycle repeat itself again. When will our love fairy tale ever come?

'Tis never to be loved and lost
than having to love at all.'
or
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.'

My NS Experiences

2009-09-08T21:07:00.002+08:00

I know it has been a really long time since I've wrote anything on this wall. Today I had my Passing Out Parade and before that a 24 Km route march at 4 am in the morning that almost drag the living soul out of me. More to share in the next few posts.

Just before we pass out from BMT, we were asked to write our NS experiences in BMT. So this is what I wrote to keep you a little entertain.

My NS Experiences

“Fate has its way...”

110609. It was supposed to be my special day. Prior plans were made to celebrate my 21st birthday on an earlier day with my friends and family in a beautiful chalet near the seaside. And a letter from MINDEF like an arrow burst my dream bubble as it says “Your enlistment date is on 11-JUN-2009. Your reporting unit is TRAINING LIST BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTER SCHOOL 2.” Fate must be toying with me.

“Blank, the result of too much anxiety...”

As I set foot on Tekong Island many thoughts and questions were running wild in my head. What should I be expecting? How should I answer to questions from my superior or the people around? What kind of people am I meeting and staying with? As more questions were left unanswered, my head was swirling and tummy was spinning like I am on a roller coaster ride. The only way to suppress the feeling was to think blankly. I wasn’t thinking. I was drifting.

“Bonds that never break...”

Lost in a world of emptiness, I was called by many unfamiliar voices and faces. Confused, I took a step closer and reached out to their hands. The next moment, I was pulled out from my fear and endless questions. The suspicious faces became my closest buddies in BMT. Platoon 1, section 3 was my home on Tekong Island. We share many happy memories and fought through difficult times together. Our bonds were strong and I believe it will grow stronger as the time goes by.

“Tough times don’t last. Tough men do...”

As each day went by, the trainings get tougher. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to survive through those gruelling activities while combating with the unfavourable weather (the sun boils and the rain wets) on Tekong Island. From 21 strength training sessions to 10 over AGR and 60/120 runs. Range to hand grenade trainings and examinations. Plus the physically demanding field camp, SIT test which happened one after the other and urban trainings. And not forgetting SOC and IPPT training sessions and tests. Maybe it is true to say that tough times don’t last, but tough men do. But more importantly it is the decision we made that will make the difference.

“Fear to courage...”

If I say fear was never in my dictionary in my whole life, I must be kidding to myself. Each day in BMT, I fear for the activities that are happening the next day. Will I fall sick on the important trainings? Will I miss anything important because of my weakness or inability to participate tomorrow? I remember my first fear came during range. I was never trained to be a fighter and weapons were never a part of me. My personality was more like a saviour who uses words to reason and war was never an option unless the situation is urgent. You may say I am weak, but I fully understand what it means to be a soldier now. In times of great difficulties, we must have the courage to counter our fears and help those in need with our knowledge and ability. With the knowledge to reason and the ability to fight, we fight for a meaningful purpose and that is what a soldier must possess. I have counter most of my fears now. The fear of height during SOC and the fear of speaking in front of an audience have diminished through my training days in BMT.

“Memories that always stay...”

As a common saying goes, “No one man can stay alive on his/her own.” I have met many great people during BMT. The times I shared with my commanders and friends are priceless and antique. I have learnt so much from my commanders and respect their role as great leaders of Singapore. My comrades, friends, buddies have helped me pass through every single day with joy and laughter. If there’s anything that I miss most in BMT, they will be the people in PEGASUS Company. Thank you all.

Back and back... Here comes 21

2009-06-27T23:49:00.003+08:00

A very BIG BIG THANK YOU to all who have wished and remembered this special day of mine. Turning 21 fills me with endless anxiety as it marks a turning point of ones life, thinking and perceptions. Many decisions have to be made and many more responsibilities I have to take. My mind and body slowly soaking in the need to be independent and self reliance.

2 weeks of confinement at BMTC was finally over. Returning to mainland (Singapore from Tekong) was a dream many have been looking forward too. The people, food and even the infrastructures were the kind of things we miss most though at times we do take some of them for granted. 3 days break before booking in on Sunday evening was a breather that everyone needed to escape from the regimental life.

Similar to every new environment, life at BMTC is never easy yet is never too difficult to adapt. The strenuous trainings that we have to put through not only trains the body to be physically fit but also the mind to be mentally strong. Our desire to perform plays a very important part especially during trainings. If one loses the will to do anything or doesn't have a goal in mind, NS will be a mundane journey.

My 2 weeks of stay in BMTC has taught me something. And that is to never be selfish. In whatever situation we must always accomplish the task together. If a man falls and is left behind, our mission is pronounced failed.

To the eternity and beyond

2009-06-10T22:09:00.006+08:00

Had a great time for the past few days.

Wed - 3 June 2009

Finally done with room painting at man's place and tasted his mum's cooking. Her dishes are always on my favourite list. But my mum is still always the best. Always love her cooking. Each have their own uniqueness. One Eurasian and the other Chinese. But for now, I can only imagine how good they taste in camp. I really hope the food at camp isn't as bad as I've heard.

Fri - 5 June 2009

Met up with FYP mates and 2 ladies. I have to come up with a group name for this. How about Polyees? Ya, this should work. So, the Polyees returned our graduation robe and had dinner at Secret Recipe over at Marina Square. Of course, there were a lot of laughter proudly contributed by Ms Lee. Our happy fruit (kai xing guo). Somehow, during and after meals, she's easily tickled and burst out in laughter as if her food has been spiked with "Haha" drugs or something. Nevertheless, you brought joy.

And a big thank you to all Polyees for the very early birthday cum farewell gifts. My first 21 birthday presents and mini celebration. Really appreciate your thoughts and well wishes. (Pictures of the gifts will be out on the day itself) Will give you guys a call when I'm out.

Sat - 6 June 2009

Received a SMS the day before to cancel all appointments for this very special day. It was a day out with my family. We had buffet dinner at Sakura over at Woodlands, located just beside Republic Poly. It was another mini birthday and farewell dinner just in case I'm not out on my birthday. Had a great time over dinner. Then we went for a visit to RP and I must say the environment is very clean and comfy. They don't have as much buildings as SP and the surrounding is really open. Maybe SP can think of having more open space or a garden and it will be the best poly to study here.

We went for a car spin round the eastern part of Singapore. Visited Seletar Air base and the roads of Sembawang and Woodlands. It's been a really long time since we all went for a car spin together. Is something we always do when we are young. My parents like to travel in cars especially my Dad. He understands the road so well, he can drive you there blindfolded. Had a great night.

Mon - 8 June 2009

The day I most look forward too. A simple "get together" dinner with SBClub friends over at? Guess? ... ... ... Secret Recipe at Marina Square. Yup, I was there last Friday. I beg the waiter and waitress knew who I was that day. Anyways, had a great time listening to their interesting conversation. So many stories. Well not many, but a story that somehow pops endless questions and link to other incidents and somehow we are ready to fly to the moon.

The oldsters had their talks and the youngsters had the time of their lives. And I was in the middle, listening to both sides and surprisingly I find them really interesting. Listening to entirely different sides and gel their stories together. Basically, confusion was the thing I find so interesting. =] Had a wonderful time though some couldn't make it. Maybe next time I'll use force rather than request. Joking.

Well, that's all for today. A chalet is supposed to happen tomorrow and you guys are invited to celebrate my birthday. But I have been called by the government to serve the country. What a pity. Nevertheless, the past few days have been well spent.

The next post will most probably be in a few weeks time. I'll enjoy myself, no worries. Looking forward to the big day though nothing much will happen. But is my 21. Legal age to do do almost anything. So, the first thing I'll do is to play you a very classic music. A music that you most probably be laughing, swearing, loving or hating me for playing it. Cheers =]

Just want to fall and sleep

2009-06-02T22:27:00.007+08:00

My Immortal - Evanescence

just thinking about it
makes me smile outside
and
makes me sob inside

Is hot, Hot, HOT today. Temperature reaching to a max of 33 degree Celsius. The sun rays almost killed everyone on the street today. I could feel myself getting cooked under the scorching sun. Hope the weather will be cooling for the rest of the week. At least rain a little.

Was supposed to post what happened at my friend's place yesterday, but it was kind of late (1 am) when I got home from his place. The first thing I wanted to do was to shower and sleep for the entire week. Well, not exactly the entire week but a full day or 2. You cannot imagine how difficult it was to remove the wallpapers of his room. OK, I admit I was the itchy finger to begin with the peeling, but I didn't know it will be that tiring after the whole thing. The stress and fatigue sipped in after everything was removed nicely. Maybe after reading through the steps we took to remove the wallpapers then you'll understand what we all have been through.

Steps to removing wallpaper from the wall:
1. Spray or sponge warm/hot water over the wallpaper and let it soak for a while.
2. Pick a corner to start peeling the first layer of the wallpaper which has the patterns/shapes/designs/ drawings on it. While doing so, someone of you may experience irritation as the layer tears.
3. When the first layer is removed, the wallpaper leaves its adhesive layer which glues the first layer to the wall. Here's your next mission.
4. Sponge the adhesive layer with lots of water (hot/warm) and let it soaked. Imagine you're washing the wall.
5. Now, use a scrapper and begin scrapping the adhesive off from the wall. Note: You need people with strength and a lot of patience and perseverance. Your room will be very, very messy.
6. The whole process of removing the wallpapers for the room will take approximately 12 hours plus 2 hours of cleaning time.

We begin at 12:30 pm and ended at 1 am. Surprisingly, we somehow find strength to finish it and it was quite fun along the way. You don't get to do this everyday. God knows where we got the patience and power to accomplish the task, but we just did it. Like Emmanuel always says, "...because we are strong (especially mentally) we can move mountains". And I say, "God helps those who help themselves".

Just thinking about man Dad's invitation to do the master room if he finds us doing a great job brings fear and terror. Anyways, painting begins tomorrow. Hope it will be a breeze.

I'll never have wallpaper in my house.

Right now, I feel like sleeping for the entire week. Though tired and knowing the weather is so damn HOT, I went to gym. Almost wanted to sleep on the bench. I was hoping that I don't fall into sleep-exercising. Enjoyed the air condition anyways.

Facebook. Buffet. Blog

2009-06-01T00:52:00.005+08:00

Ave Maria - Beyonce

memories are things we can
see,
smell,
touch,
hear and taste.
memories are our motivation in life.

I can't believe what I've been doing for the entire day. I was "facebooking", putting up pictures taken during my stay in SP for the past 3 years.

"I don't go to facebook".

That was the kind of remark I give to people when they asked if I've seen the pictures or friends on Facebook. Yet here I am happily putting all the pictures, as if I am designing a picture book. Along the way, some of you got carried away by my "facebooking" and did the same thing too. It was funny to see so many photos being put up and tag.

I have 6 albums now and they each tell a very unique story. Looking back at what I've done, I must say I have made really good friends and met great lectures along the way. Really happy to have met all of them and will always remember the effort they've put in to make 3 years of poly life so bearable.

2 more albums are still missing and they are my JC friends who I met during my first 3 months in SRJC and my best of the best friends from Drama Club in secondary school. I'll try to get pictures with them and put them up on Facebook before I enter martial arts school. I am addicted to Facebook.

Luckily, I had to attend dinner at my big aunt's place to get me away from Facebook. It was a simple buffet with our close relatives to celebrate Father's Day in advance. Nothing much to say, but I can share with you one thing. My big uncle's relatives (his brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts) are real hardcore drinkers. They finished 4 bottles of expensive wine with beer and champagne and they are still going for more. Please kids, drinking is bad for health and it gives you beer belly. Abstain from heavy drinking as much as possible =].

Planning for a mass outing is really difficult. Accommodation is really a tough thing to do. But I enjoy every moment of it. Just thinking of getting everyone together for a meal keeps me motivated. I'll persevere. Jia you!

My Grad Story

2009-05-31T01:30:00.006+08:00

I can't believe I spent so much time doing these. But all is worth it.

Enjoy =]

What's up and What's down

2009-05-29T22:27:00.006+08:00

SP's Graduation Ceremony ended a few days back and here I am waiting for the next phase of my life to begin. Mixed feelings for the moment. 3 years passed with many stories written in this tiny storybook of mine. Opportunities, missed and grabbed. Thoughts, uncleared and cleared. Questions, hanging and answered.

Nevertheless, my 3 years of poly life would not have been so fun filled if not for the friends who I have met along the way and friends who have already made an impact in my life and have done it yet again. More importantly, I thank my family for their love and care in making home a place where I find peace in my troubled times. Thank you all so very much =]

Photos should be up by this weekend.
---

What' new this week? I've started reading Twilight and am on the 7th chapter now. Yes, I know some of you guys are already on the 3rd series or even finished the whole sequel and here I am on my first book. Give me some time please. (HaHa) I wouldn't comment on how good or bad the story is till I'm done finishing it. For now, the author has his way of keeping me in suspense that keeps getting me to find out more about what's going to happen next. Romance plus sad scenes (and I heard there's plenty of these) and suspense that can really kill sometimes, I really wonder how much will I rate it.

On the down side, I have been pondering a lot these days. Especially on the matter of friendship and when should a certain line be drawn. Don't get me wrong if you think the line refers to any of your behaviour. I am referring the line to myself. When is the right time or place for me to draw the line?

Ever since graduation, I have this sudden urge to organise gatherings for friends or just short meet ups before I enter NS. The feeling is similar to an old man wanting company before he parts with the world. It feels so strange. I think it must be the pre-NS syndrome. (NS - a period where one loses his privacy and be taught the goodness of giving and sharing.)

In any case, this should be good news for me as it shows I care and I will still care even after NS. Another week or so to go before school (military arts) begins. I'll see what I can arrange.

What's hot next week?
> 5 June 2009 (Fri) - EBP Group Outing (To return graduation cloak)

Really wonder if that's what I'm after,
showed signs that make me ponder.

Clearly, black and white is all I see.
Yet the answer, a needle in the deep blue sea.

Dream is what I hope to be,
placing reality so far from me.

I, hid in the closet,
Play, the game of hide and seek.

Hoping that time will come,
putting no boundaries.
...

A new chapter. A new adventure.

2009-05-26T23:25:00.012+08:00

The Time of My Life - David Cook

Received my air ticket.
Gone to a far far place.

Embarking on a new journey.
Reminiscing the past.

Put a smile on my face.
Meet again, we shall.

thanks for the dark and happy days. =]

Ordinary man doing Extraordinary things

2009-05-13T22:30:00.001+08:00

I happen to be checking my Yahoo mails which have been left untouched for a couple of months and came upon a video on Britain's Got Talent (BGT) on Yahoo site. Comparing this to America's Got Talent (AGT), I think the former is so much diversified and entertaining at the same time. Furthermore, getting Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden and Piers Morgan (the only intelligent judge from AGT) as judges for BGT goes to show how real and fair this competition is going to be. If you watch the judges in AGT you will get what I mean. Of course, there were some really unglamourous, irksome and cliched performances, nevertheless this show has brought tears, joy and lots of happiness to many people.

The first video I stumped on was a male singer by the name of Greg Pritchard. The first thought that came to my mind, "Not another rock singer." But after hearing his power packed vocal I was taken off from my seat. As Simon says, "Is like hearing a dog meowing." Let's hear it from "Super Soprano". How much does he have to squeeze to do that?

Next up, Shaun Smith, the singer who melts the heart of many girls with his authentic vocal. If he was in America Idol I think he would make it to the finals. Only 17 and hear he sings.

Last but not list, my favourite contestant of the day. A van driver in the day and a pizza delivery man by night. A very simple, humble and shy man. Never performed on stage and has never sang in front of so many people, his first performance has reached out to every single person in that auditorium especially the judges. Here's Jamie Pugh with the song 'Bring Him Home' by Les Miserables. Enjoy.

That aside,what have I been up to? I received my enlistment letter a week ago and I have been posted to Tekong, Basic Military School Center 2. Reporting Date: 11 June 2009. Honestly, my family has planed to hold my 21st Birthday celebration on that day. A chalet was already booked and plans for invite (yes, all my friends from everywhere) has been made but that enlistment letter was my biggest present. The plan had to be cancelled so I guess it will be just a wonderful celebration with my family and me. I am very happy with that.

Next, I have news to share. I have accepted NUS offer to study Computing. Many thanks to NTU and SMU offer. So I guess I will be back being a student after NS for 2 years. Really wonder if I will be able to bring the studying mood back after losing touch with it for so many years. Will be heading down to NUS for a talk on the modules available this Saturday. I hope I don't get lost in the campus.

What else to look forward too? Dinner. Yes. Dinner at Emmanuel's place this Friday. Really looking forward to meeting the others and I am craving for his mum's cooking right now.

I had a dream... that kept me awake for a moment

2009-04-02T23:33:00.008+08:00

for a moment, i was
stunned
paralysed
flabbergasted

Alright, I know my posts are sometimes dark and cold enough to freeze you. But I had this very weird dream that had me thinking this afternoon while on the way home and listening to Coldplay's 42 from their newest album Viva la Vida.

The dream seems to have taken place in some parts of America during the invention period of steam trains and cars. Quite late back I thing. It started with a man. I think he's a dad as there were 3 children in his car. What seems like a pretty short ride to a train station, I who happen to be a kid as well board the car for reasons I can't seem to figure out till now. There was a conversation going on between a boy and the man. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but the boy got down the car, shut the door and the man drove off without him. I thought to myself, maybe he was asked to buy something and we'll be back to get him.

Down the road, the man stopped outside a building which I thought was our destination. This time round, the second boy got down without a single word and we drove off. Then I thought to myself, maybe the boy was heading to the library or somewhere near the vicinity we stopped at.

With that, what's left in the car is the man, myself and a little girl who I believe to be the youngest sister. The car stopped not long later, a conversation struck between the little girl and the man. I could sense some struggle between the both of them. The girl seems reluctant about something. All I can remember very vividly was that I had asked the man to let the girl stay. But no one seems to be listening to me. The street was crowded and we seem to have stopped outside a very posh and lighted building. A very grand place I say.

The struggle continue to push the girl out of the car. I could see her teary eyes and she was crying really sadly. I was trying to ask the man to let her stay, but he went all deaf ears. We seem to be screaming and shouting but I heard nothing. The people outside the car couldn't have heard us as well.

The next thing I knew, the man draws out a knife from I don't know where and stab it into the little girl's forehead. She wasn't crying anymore. She was bleeding profusely. She bled with blood tearing down from the open wound. Her eyes stare at me blankly as if I have done something wrong to her and her brothers.

I was struck awake that night. I didn't want to sleep for fear that the dream may continue. For a moment, I hope daytime came a little earlier.

There was a period I almost forgot about the dream but Coldplay's song reminded me of it. Then I ponder. What exactly happened? Were there any underlying messages? I remember the last thing I did was playing X-Men legend 2 on my computer before heading to bed. But the dream has no link to it.

Surprisingly, as I was about to end this post, several words and phrases came to my mind. Orphan. Adoption. Child selling for labour.

The children in the car were siblings. They were being sent away to different parts of the city for adoption I guess. I hypothesize that I was also ready to be sent away too. But to whom I am not really sure. But the first kid got off outside a train station whose foster parents I guess seems to be from a very faraway city. But I have the feeling the family isn't that well-do.

The next kid who dropped off outside a pretty looking building didn't spoke a single word. So I reckon his foster parents must be someone of a well do status.

The little girl was dropped somewhere posh and crowded. I think her parents must be someone of higher status. But she was reluctant for reasons which I think I can understand. Maybe we are just being sold to be slaves or something. I'm not sure.

Broken families are on a rise these days because of broken marriage or unpredicted mishaps and disasters. Many children are left stranded to struggle on their own and survival for them is hard. As such, adoption has become a practice where these children are able to learn and survive in this pretty harsh world. But then again, children are born with feelings. The first person they see and spoke to are those who are close to them especially their mothers. Having to part with their mothers or families is a disheartening truth or fact that anyone can accept. Before any adoption, have we spare a thought for their feelings? How are we going to disclose the truth when he/she has become older?

Of course to make matters worst, we experience child labour being carried out illegally. Children are being sold to become beggars or factory workers for long extensive hours and even subjects for all kinds of experiment. If they knew their fate would be like this sad, who would ever want to be sold to these disgusting organisations. Are they ever given a choice since their birth? It seems as if they can blame fate, but the more they should hate are the evil adversaries that are practicing these uncivilised acts. If there is ever a book of death, I will write the names of all these ruthless people and make sure that they suffer double of those they have harmed.

I apologise for the pretty long post. Didn't think I had so much to write. Haha =]. In any case, if you have a different thesis of the dream, do share and maybe we can talk about it. Meantime, enjoy the song by Coldplay 42. (why is it call 42?)

Hello says Beyonce

2009-03-27T20:53:00.011+08:00

The pause button is somewhere new the CD casing. Haha =]

...It was many years ago
When you
Stole my cool
you had me at hello
Hello
Hello
Hellooh oh oh oh oh...

I am pretty much into Beyonce's new album call I Am... Sasha Fierce. 16 awesome tracks. Great lyrics, great vocal, great songs. Have been hooked on them for days. Songs that calms your nerves. Songs that makes you wanna dance. Go catch them if you haven't.

I have been missing for quite a few days. Those days were the best. The Charmed Brothers of 3 met up for dinner at man's place on Saturday. I've been looking forward to his mum's wonderful dishes. Especially those meat muffins I think. Suddenly I forgot what they are called. But they are simply the best. Love those.

It has been months since we met. Spoke about everything that falls under the sun. Stupid things actually. Back in those days when we are young and innocent. Divas' statement of the day "菊花茶不要冰" which means "chrysanthemum tea without ice" but with Tamil accent. 9+ years of friendship never seems to have fade even a single bit.

Then come Monday. I had a blast. Went for Coldplay concert at the Singapore Indoor Stadium. It was thrilling and exciting. My first "appearance" to a famous live band concert. The place was packed and is full-housed I tell you. Everyone was screaming and singing along to every songs. It was a pity I didn't listen to their album first, Viva la Vida. But still every moment was worth spending and thanks man for the invite.

If you haven't gone to any live concerts, you should really go for one and experience the atmosphere yourself. By the time you get home, your ears will be buzzed by this "wong wong" sound as if bees are around your ears. But that aside, another great album to listen to. Though is a little dark and echoic but still great songs are worth listening.

As for the job interview at Jurong East, I gave it a miss as I found a better one. Still in the deciding stage, I hope everything goes well.

Speaking of job hunting, to all DBIT graduates, my junior Lishi who is an intern for her attachment in Kelly Services (I think) is looking for long period committed(if you are not planning to study) CUSTOMER FULFILLMENT EXEC.

Your job will be doing Project Management, dealing with MS Office and IT applications. The pay is pretty attractive, around $1,800. If you are interested, email your resume to lishi_chen@kellyservices.com.sg. She will give you a call before forwarding your resume to the company.

Don't wait, act quickly. I really think the offers and job scopes are pretty reasonable and manageable. Give it a try if you haven't found a job yet. For more information, you can text or tag me and I'll ask her on your behalf. You can also email her and mention my name. P.s I am not receiving any benefits from this. Haha =]

I guess the news of NUS acceptance has been released over the past few days. I am glad to share that I got a place for a degree in Computing. To be accepted by a university is like a dream I and some of us (you know who) would never dare to imagine. Receiving such news is like a scroll from heaven. To have wasted a couple of years, I think all is worth it. (Though there are time I really wonder if they are really...).

Nevertheless, I congratulate those who have received their acceptance. To those who have yet to receive any news, no worries, there is still NTU and SMU. Don't lose hope, as you are in control of your own future. Plan and plan again if one plan has failed.

So I guess I will be seeing some of you during Graduation ceremony 26 May 2009. Remember to arrange a day for us to go down and choose our robe together. Weekdays evening and weekends preferred. For more information on Graduation related and details of the price to rent or buy the robe, click here.

Results Released

2009-03-18T22:13:00.005+08:00

thinking about the past
(sometimes i just wonder...)

doing for the present
(sometimes i wonder...)

planning for the future
(i really wonder...)

Met up with Joshua and Victor last Saturday for dinner at Dhoby's Fish and Co. I think you will know where. Too bad Yan Shan couldn't make it. But we'll meet up soon. I'm really happy and amaze to catch up with these friends who I met during the first 3 months of JC (aka PAE). Sometimes I really wonder what keeps our friendship. Though we don't really communicate a lot and we have known one another for only a couple of weeks when we first became friends, there never seem to be anything we can't talk about. The 4 of us, somehow has this fascinating bond that I feel puzzled yet joyful about. Anyway, had a great time with them.

So, the results were officially released at 10 am today and later at 2 pm for the dip plus results. The school kind of lied in a sense that they announced the timing yet they send you email and SMS informing you much earlier. If you are caught unprepared or you have a very bad day, or just maybe you have a great day and all of a sudden you open the message, you see the results and...

Well, all I can say is I'm pretty much happy with the results. Was pretty shock though. Imagine the module PM which I was totally lost as first and at last, but somehow, the score fair so much better than the rest. And ADBMS, the killer module, was much better than ESSP which I thought I could score with the help of the 2 excellent reports. The rest were pretty much expected. So overall, I think I did OK. I hope all of you did well too. =]

Graduation ceremony will be held on 26 May 2009. I am in a dilemma. Ain't sure if I should be attending or give it a pass. The surprising news if you guys happen to not notice is that my course, DBIT, will be graduating with the School of Business (SB). All these years, I thought we will be graduating with the School of Digital Media and Info com Technology (DMIT), but the list said otherwise.

The best part is that I have to attend 2 ceremony to collect my results. One for my Dip Plus certificate under DMIT and the other for my DBIT certificate under SB. So, I'll be in school at 8:30 am for DMIT graduation and attend another round of graduation ceremony at 2:00 pm with SB. I guess I'm the first student to have to attend 2 Graduation ceremony. Thinking of it feels quite funny. But I get to graduate with my friends in DMIT and SB .

So, anyone going for the ceremony? If you are, do give me a tag or message. It will be great if we all attend. Never know when is the next time we will be meeting again . =]

And with the release of the results, I'm pretty much lost now. No longer a student, I feel empty. Waiting to be a soldier, I feel anxious. Ain't sure what the future holds and what must I do now? I received a call from PROMO to go down for an interview next week. The office is all the way down west near Jurong East Station. Any one of you heard about this company?

All I know is that I will be going down to big supermarket and I will be promoting products to consumers. I can imagine those people who we see at the streets promoting their woks and irons, saying how good the product is and demonstrating the products. Then all the uncle and auntie will ask questions like whether the product really works and all. If that's the case, doesn't that mean I have to learn how to cook in order to perform the demonstration =?

Counting down on the days where I will be arranging an outing for SB club. I heard some of them have head off to Cambodia for 13 days of community service. I guess they should be back by this week. So, the outing should be somewhere next week or so. Will inform you guys when the week draws nearer. It should be on one of the weekends. Any idea where to go? I am thinking of visiting the ZOO, Bird Park or watch a movie(taking up about 15 seats =]). Hahahaha.

Of course I will not forget the rest of you. I think Winnie is arranging something for all of us so that we can gather. Will ask her soon and see the progress. Hope you guys respond to her when she calls.

To Dram Mama people, you know who you are. I somehow got Marcus talking here. We have to meet as a group one of these days. Busy people, you know who you are again, give us a day, please. Haha.

And whoever wants to meet, you can always tag or message me =].

Will be quite busy for the next couple of days. The poster competition is due on 26 Mar 2009. I have to apply for IDA scholarship by the end of this month. And lots of paperwork to be sent to the different Unis. Haha. In the meantime, enjoy and ENJOY!

Sense Death

2009-03-13T22:59:00.005+08:00

darkness falls
silence embeds
vacuum surrounds
breathing stops

struggle felt
response unheard
blood dripped
body stayed

one thought
one question
one light

never heard
never answered
never again

why me?

I guess most of have heard of the incident that happened in Germany recently. A teenager had shot dead several teachers and students in his former school. Eventually, taking his own life with a gun that he had stoled from his Dad's shop. Police are investigating the matter, but with the death of the suspect, the situation has become cumbersome. The teenage was said to be a quiet and good person.

Thinking back of the incident last night, I imagined myself to be in school with a couple of people in the gymnasium. Moments later, a boy enters the entrance, draws out something black and polished and fires aimlessly. The glass doors and walls shatter with every shot he triggers. He didn't seem like he had a target to hit, but the people around me are tainted with red blood and lying motionlessly on the ground.

I hid myself behind a wall. With every breath I took, I have difficult controlling the next. I am panting. I am panting really heavily. Is this due to all the workout? Or is it something else? I smell death. I feel lost. The signs in front of me have all gone swirly and everything is spiraling.

I have to run. And I know I have to run. But what if my next step places my eyes in front of an invisible nail that drills a hole through my skull. Maybe I should stay and hide myself away from him. Or maybe...

"I make the decision. I am going to run. I have to."

Open my eyes and standing in front of me I see him. For a short moment, I saw a reaper holding a scythe in his right arm, placing the blade right above my forehead. He seems lonely, lost. Something seems to be bothering him, but he just won't tell. But one thing for sure, he is thirsty for something. He looks selfish. He isn't playing fair. Bang!

I can't figure out what was it. Did a car accident happen? Has someone come to salvage the situation?

Everything in front of me became blurred and out of proportion. I am not looking straight. Somehow my vision rotated 90 degrees clockwise. Darkness pitched in and silence is the only thing I can hear. I feel light as if every matter around me were vacuumed away by a gigantic vacuum cleaner. My breathing became easier. There is no heavy panting, there is no gasping. There is no air flow.

I try to move and want to shout. But none responded. My forehead feels wet. Maybe it is just sweat or maybe it is ... I feel like sleeping. I really want to sleep.

"Welcome to News 5 tonight. Good evening everyone, this is Gabriel Tan."

"Earlier this afternoon, a teenage shot dead several teachers and students in his former school. Eventually, taking his own life with a gun that he had smuggled in. Police are investigating the matter, but with the death of the suspect, the situation has become cumbersome. The teenage was said to be a quiet and good person."

"Would I ever know the reason behind my death?"

"Are you satisfied with your master piece?"

"Why did you decide to play selfish and ended our lives in your hands?"

"You didn't mention anything. You didn't show anything. Where should we begin?"

For a moment, I thought I was dreaming. But somehow everything felt real. I could sense, just somehow. Not breathing. Not hearing anything. Is this death?

I'm Employed, but not paid

2009-03-13T00:35:00.005+08:00

think for yourself

I have no idea what to quote today. So I'll leave the top section for you to think about. Maybe you can tag me one or two quotes and if I think is interesting I'll put it up in the next post and we'll discuss. Let's make this a game shall we. It sounds really interesting. So, let's get the ball rolling. And the first person will be ... =]

Anyway, you'll be confused by the title of this post. What do I mean by I'm employed yet I'm not paid? Am I taking up some stupid job and ask for nothing in return? Well, you can more or less put it that way. My boss, Diva, has given me an amazing project to kill time since I've nothing much to do at home other than thinking up with ideas for the poster. I'll not dwell into the details, but just to let you know I'm creating his online portfolio.

The project was a turn off initially, but after browsing through examples and templates online, I am so inspired to do him the favour. So Diva, be prepared for something that you'll least expect to have or something that is beyond your capacity of accomplishment. We'll probably spend a day or two teaching and coaching you all the skills I've used in your project. =]

Time to laugh

2009-03-11T23:02:00.004+08:00

(we ask ourselves)
why not let go?
why not give up?

(others question)
why are you letting go?
why are you giving up?

(they say)
what's yours will be yours

(yet they say)
fight on. you'll never know what's going to happen.

(and I really wonder)
what's the answer? ...

So, went running today and thought of many things. As I set my eyes in the beautifully gloomily sky, seeing the polished black birds fly, I realize nature has really done a great job in making our environment so comfortable and vibrant. It doesn't have to be red, blue, green or yellow colours that will always put a smile on our face. Sometimes a large vast of black and gray really comforts our busy and swaying souls.

Somewhere in our life, we face a really difficult situation or we are unsure if we've been played and should we continue the game. We crazily seek for advices but the irony is that we all come to a point really thinking for ourselves, "What should be the next step?" And no matter how much we want to deny, the answers always lie somewhere in our unconscious mind.

Seeing the clouds forming with the wind, glazing the sea waves as they splashes up and collapses back slowly, we realize ...

Can't really say much. But always remember a predicament always has many possible solutions, it only matters which is the best. Find someone to talk things out and you'll know, somehow, the answer is already inside you.

So, I have sent out a couple of resumes to other companies for a part time job. And I think I'll resend the resumes to the previous companies I have applied. I hope I'll get one. Soon.

Hope all of you are doing well on your side too =]

Mood - Satisfied

2009-03-10T22:29:00.009+08:00

sometimes i really wonder...
why i ponder
if it will ever happen
to put a smile on my face
is it yes or no, possible or impossible

sometimes i really wonder if you ever wonder

Today has rather been a satisfying day. Nothing much happened, but somehow I feel happy.

Getting back to reality. I have a poster to do and I really need to FIND A PART TIME JOB. I'm getting really bored at home and I feel so useless. Sent out my resumes but none has responded. At least give me a sign to tell me that I'm not accepted so that I can search for others. Am I too good for them or have I typed my resumes wrongly? I really wonder. Haha.

Anyways, if you guys have a job to offer me, do leave me a message or tag me. I'm looking into retail, roadshows/events and admin/clerical kind of job. Easy and not so time consuming. In any case, if you have any connections or good recommendations don't forget about me. Thanks =]

I'm itching to watch good movies and dine with good old friends. Watchman seems really cool. No preference for food. So, Anyone free? Haha. Maybe if I start working, I'll have less time thinking about all these things.

8 more days to go before the released of the results. Close to a month before graduation ceremony begins. Another 2 months or so when I become bold. 3 months and I'm 21.Feelings? Lost of words or there are just too many to use.

just throw it all in

2009-03-09T14:28:00.005+08:00

the rain...
washes my emotions away
cleanses my soul
erases my memories

the rain...
brings back past emotions
dampens my soul
makes me think back sometimes

Sitting on my comfort chair, typing along as I listen to my favourite songs. Hearing the pattering rain drops, enjoying the coolness of the day. Life seems so empty, so cold these days.

27 February marks the last day of poly life and I await a new chapter of my life to begin. Many thoughts, many feelings, occupying the motionless mind of mine have been the things that kept me going these days.

"What should I do today?"

"What happens if I ...?"

"..."

These are questions that have been hovering around my empty skull. What can I do? Boring!

---

Anyway, somethings to share over the past weeks.

1. On the last day of my paper, I had ice cream at Häagen-Dazs kindly sponsored by Melissa. I ordered some Mango don't know what but it tasted super nice and "mangoly" heaven. Say a big THANK YOU to her. "THANK YOU" =]. (Hut Teng, photos please =?)

2. Met man and diva for lunch at PLU. Had so much to talk about. Great to see you guys. Too bad the rest couldn't make it. Hope to meet up soon. Lunch, dinner, anything. And Marcus, you too.

3. This may sound crazy to some of you, but I took part in the Green Innovation Competition for my school. Yes, SP DMIT. Our aim is to design a poster to promote clean and green awareness (if I'm not wrong). Why are we in it? We are officially graduating sometime in April so we are still students of SP. The prize money of $1000 seems rather attractive. And we thought we had nothing to do during the vacation but we are dead wrong. *Laugh!Laugh! The deadline has been extended if I'm not wrong to 31 March 2009. Is this bad or good? Can't make a judgement. Anyway wish us luck.

4.Went shopping with diva to get Dinner and Dance clothing. I was quite lucky to get good clothes from G2000 Black at super cheap price. A pants which cost like $169 was selling at $69 and a shirt that cost $109 was going at $59. Shoes which cost $79.90 were discounted to $39.90. This is all possible because of the recession. But I still hope the economy stabilises when I start working in a couple of years time.

5. Did a graduation video which will be shown on graduation day happening next month. It was embarrassing as I have to be someone else and the questions were in prompt to. Anyway there's always a first time in everything. Should it turn out real bad, do pardon me. Haha.

6. SB DND. I felt awkward and misplaced as I didn't know at least 90 percent of the people there. Everywhere I went, I see unfamiliar faces. But the food was good and the whole event was entertaining. Manage to catch up with some SB club members. Maybe one day I should organise an outing for all the juniors and seniors of SB club. Haha. Maybe.

7. Applied for 5 jobs from jobcentral.com. They are either sales promoter or clerical jobs. Hope to be able to get one of them otherwise I'll be bored to death.

8. And as you can see. I have changed the skin of this blog. Hope you like it and enjoy the rest of your holidays or work if you're working.

All the best =]

NS Medical Checkup, go CRAZY

2008-12-22T12:57:00.002+08:00

Went to CMPB the second time to finish up the last round of checking and that's the brain test aka IQ test. If I remember correctly, there are altogether 5 to 6 sections each given a time limit of 15 minutes to answer 20 to 30 questions. So if you do the calculation, you will probably spend close to 2 hours answering the questions which you won't probably finish as your brain gets fried after the first 30 minutes.

How was the test like? Think from common sense to logic test to Mathematics to Physics to English to navigational test to personal interest to memory test to... I can't think of any. But you get the drift.

Though the questions may look easy, they can be quite tiring. Imagine, to look at shapes in the most oddest positions and predict the next pattern. Staring at dots and circles, and visualising its next position in the given picture. Making comparison to words that confuses you half the time.

In any case, at the end of the test, you won't get to know the results of your intelligence, but you can safely tell yourself that you are not that smart after all. If I happen to be posted in some division that doesn't require much brain work, then I probably know what's the caused and how I fair during the test. =]

On the brighter note, the medical checkup went pretty smoothly except for my abnormal heartbeat during the first test. But all seems alright now, and I've been posted to PES A. Heard that it isn't a good thing cos you will be the first to go in any situation and for everything they do. Hope everything goes smoothly when I get enlisted.

A glance is good enough

2008-11-10T22:49:00.004+08:00

"May it just be a glance,
for that split second,
as the doors close,
is all I need,
and that's good enough..."

Lyrics to Your Call :
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
when you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Do you Believe?

2008-11-10T00:38:00.006+08:00

You may want to try this to see your personality through handwriting.
http://www.handwritingwizard.com/

View Report

Welcome Seah Guo Hua, here is your handwriting analysis.

Seah has difficulty making decisions. His mind changes constantly. He lives in an emotional tug of war. Seah could be described like a thermometer. Today warm and friendly, yet tomorrow he may be distant and cold, not wanting to be close to anyone.

Some research indicates that people with a severe variety in the slant of their handwriting have an inability to tolerate sugar and are suffering the side-effects of too much sugar in their diet. If moods swings are a reoccurring issue, investigate the diet.

If Seah encounters a situation he cannot handle he frequently pulls into himself. He feels his emotions are secure if he is withdrawn. When he has solved the problem he can be very outgoing and again need other people's companionship. Some see Seah as very moody, but it it would be more accurate to say he has two complete personalities that he chooses depending on the circumstance. This type of person is often hard to understand because no one knows what personality he is exhibiting today. He may not be bothered by something one minute, then the next minute become upset at the same thing. It is very difficult to pin down Seah's emotional expressiveness.

People that write their letters in an average height and average size are moderate in their ability to interact socially. According to the data input, Seah doesn't write too large or too small, indicating a balanced ability to be social and interact with others.

When Seah expresses an opinion on a issue he will stick to that opinion, and probably will not change his mind. In other words... Seah is stubborn. When he is wrong about something that he has decided upon, he will have trouble admitting he is wrong. Changing Seah's mind can be very difficult. Once Seah makes up his mind, he doesn't want to be confused with the facts!

Seah will be candid and direct when expressing his opinion. He will tell them what he thinks if they ask for it, whether they like it or not. So, if they don't really want his opinion, don't ask for it!

Seah can be defiant. He sometimes has the attitude that if someone doesn't like it the way he is doing it, then they can just "go to hell!" This trait may reveal itself in a rebellious nature that is always ready to resist forces which he thinks are infringing upon his freedom of action.

In reference to Seah's mental abilities, he has a very investigating and creating mind. He investigates projects rapidly because he is curious about many things. He gets involved in many projects that seem good at the beginning, but he soon must slow down and look at all the angles. He probably gets too many things going at once. When Seah slows down, then he becomes more creative than before. Since it takes time to be creative, he must slow down to do it. He then decides what projects he has time to finish. Thus he finishes at a slower pace than when he started the project.

He has the best of two kinds of minds. One is the quick investigating mind. The other is the creative mind. His mind thinks quick and rapidly in the investigative mode. He can learn quicker, investigate more, and think faster. Seah can then switch into his low gear. When he is in the slower mode, he can be creative, remember longer and stack facts in a logical manner. He is more logical this way and can climb mental mountains with a much better grip.

Seah is a practical person whose goals are planned, practical, and down to earth. This is typical of people with normal healthy self-esteem. He needs to visualize the end of a project before he starts. he finds joy in anticipation and planning. Notice that I said he plans everything he is going to do, that doesn't necessarily mean things go as planned. Seah basically feels good about himself. He has a positive self-esteem which contributes to his success. He feels he has the ability to achieve anything he sets his mind to. However, he sets his goals using practicality-- not too "out of reach". He has enough self-confidence to leave a bad situation, yet, he will not take great risks, as they relate to his goals. A good esteem is one key to a happy life. Although there is room for improvement in the confidence catagery, his self-perception is better than average.

Seah is sarcastic. This is a defense mechanism designed to protect his ego when he feels hurt. He pokes people harder than he gets poked. These sarcastic remarks can be very funny. They can also be harsh, bitter, and caustic at the same time.

Seah has a healthy imagination and displays a fair amount of trust. He lets new people into his circle of friends. He uses his imagination to understand new ideas, things, and people.

For a graphologist, the spacing on the page reflects the writer's attitude toward their own world and relationship to things in his or her own space. If the inputted data was correct Seah has left lots of white space on the right side of the paper. Seah fills up the rest of the page in a normal fashion. If this is true, then Seah has an unhealthy relationship to the past and has a fear of moving forward. The right side of the page represents the future and Seah seems unwilling to face the fear of getting started living now and planning for the future. Seah seems to be clinging to past events and spending lots of time thinking about what happened. It would be best to leave the past behind and move on. Stop crowding that left margin.

Recap

2008-11-04T21:50:00.008+08:00

Let's see where should I begin?

Hmm...

OK, it's the 4th week since the term started and I am already pack to my neck. There are always new things to do each day, new adventure to conquer and when the sun sets, it drains my energy along with it. As the dark sky takes the stage, I find myself in my lullaby land.

It's my final year and my final semester. Another 13 weeks to go and that's it. My chapter in poly has come to a close and another story begins...

Like many stories, the climax excites the readers the most and I must say I have come to that part of the story.

Final year project (FYP) an essential component for all year 3 students. And because it determines whether you get your diploma or not, many of us are working day and night everyday. At least for my group. We can be spending more that 21 hours a week per person multiple by 6 members and you will get . . . 126 hours every week on the project. To top it all, we have other projects from our different modules that are due at the same time as our FYP phase 1 report. So imagine having to work 1 major project with 3 to 4 other sub projects in a total of 7 weeks. My goodness, only a saint is capable of passing through this ordeal.

But I must say for all 3 years, I never had so much fun doing projects with my team. Forming a team of 3 guys and 3 gals, they are a group of jolly people who never stop to laugh at anything. No matter how tedious the projects can be, there's always something to look back and smile at as we head home and await the next day.

A big thanks to all of you for making all our day enjoyable during this difficult moment. Press on and do look after yourself. Otherwise you can turn to "Wu Bi Gao" for help. We have 3 patients and counting already. Haha.

Other matters? Well, remember about this computer competition I have been talking about couple of times? It ended 2 weeks back and my school won a bronze and silver. I am not responsible for winning any of the medals, but I did bring the school somewhere. It's the first time we entered into the finals, so I guess we should be glad about it. There will be an appreciation dinner on the 11th Nov. Not sure if I should be looking forward to it?...

What else? Nothing much but some personal thoughts have been swaying in my mind. Sometimes is hard to put things across to someone who you don't wish to loose. Is especially hard when they are people you treasure. At times I may have sent off the wrong signal which I admit I do because I know. But I hope it will not turn out to be anything disastrous. I wish whatever I think it is, may just be my imagination. And whatever I imagine, can turn out to be what it is. I admit I lack courage, but I hope you people can understand. Maybe it just happen a little too late.

Wish I had know you earlier, or not know you at all.

the best scene of mamma mia

2008-10-08T01:25:00.007+08:00

I am too tired to write now. So I am leaving you a video and song of the best scene from the movie MAMA MIA.

Enjoy.

Caution: Some parts of the scene gets a litter blurry but will die off a while.

The winner takes it all

I don’t wanna talk
About the things we’ve gone through
Though it’s hurting me
Now it’s history
I’ve played all my cards
And that’s what you’ve done too
Nothing more to say
No more ace to play

The winner takes it all
The loser standing small
Beside the victory
That’s her destiny

I was in your arms
Thinking I belonged there
I figured it made sense
Building me a fence
Building me a home
Thinking I’d be strong there
But I was a fool
Playing by the rules

The gods may throw a dice
Their minds as cold as ice
And someone way down here
Loses someone dear
The winner takes it all
The loser has to fall
It’s simple and it’s plain
Why should I complain.

But tell me does she kiss
Like I used to kiss you?
Does it feel the same
When she calls your name?
Somewhere deep inside
You must know I miss you
But what can I say
Rules must be obeyed

The judges will decide
The likes of me abide
Spectators of the show
Always staying low
The game is on again
A lover or a friend
A big thing or a small
The winner takes it all

I don’t wanna talk
If it makes you feel sad
And I understand
You’ve come to shake my hand
I apologize
If it makes you feel bad
Seeing me so tense
No self-confidence
But you see
The winner takes it all
The winner takes it all......

Mass updates

2008-10-07T00:03:00.006+08:00

Welcome you and welcome me back. Time flies and it is already the second week of October 2009. If you are still floating aimlessly in your wonderland dreaming of all those things you have been dying to do, it is about time for you to get cracking. Cos before you know it, it is 2010.

Like how I have spent my "vacation" for the past 6 weeks or so before school starts in the week to come. Going back to school on every odd days (i.e. Monday, Wednesday and Friday) has been my routine. Spending close to 7 hours a day from 10 am to 5 pm, training for Worldskill competition which many have been asking what the hell is that. Basically, is a national competition where competitors from all polys and ITE are competing in all kinds of trades that involve skills from cooking to doing facial and the involvement of mechatronics and machines and many more. The trade that I am in is called IT and software where we compete to see who has a better understanding and knowledge of the commonly used software, Microsoft Office 2007.

Now you maybe wondering how difficult can it be to deal with Microsoft word, excel, PowerPoint and access. I mean everyone uses them in their projects or office work these days. So what's the big deal? The people who set the question papers are the problem here. The tasks we are asked to accomplish are sometimes so mind wrecking that you don't really have the mood to continue on. These setters are told to create a paper which can never be completed within the given period of time and to make life easier for us, they are told to set questions such that we feel demoralise doing them. There are skills that sometimes we find it hard to apply in our daily used of Microsoft office that I find it hard to comprehend where did they get all these creative ideas from.

Anyway, enough of that. Can't wait for next week to be over as that would be the end of the competition which is held 3 days straight from Thursday to Saturday starting at 8 am everyday in the far lands at ITE East. Time to be up at secondary school time.

On the brighter note, these 6 weeks have been great fun meeting friends from secondary and JC. Spending time with them has been my best vacation moments ever. Chatting, catching a movie and dining together though look so simple yet they hold so much meaning.

There are so many things I would like to share during our conversation, but I will leave that for later as this load of information should be quite enough to fill your mind.

Until then, stay strong and see poly mates next Monday at 8 am (OMG!) for FYP (OMG x 2!).
Secondary pals, hope to see you guys this weekend.
JC buddies (3 guys) who I (1 guy) watched Mamma Mia with last Saturday, let's meet up real soon.

"... I know you came, just leave a message before you leave. You know who you are. Should I say it out loud?..."

Blank

2008-07-17T21:39:00.004+08:00

I reckon it has been ages since I last left my trails here.

Busy? I guess.

Lazy? Most probably.

. . .

I have the sudden urge to write today.

For some reason or another, I becoming to see my world changing rapidly that I sometimes would choose to stay at standstill and block all my senses keeping the assumption that nothing seems to be changing. My world was pleasant and quiet with absolute zero disturbance and life flows through like the silky river with little turbulence. But now . . .

Life has been a roller coaster ride for me. Coming to the final year of polytechnic, I feel stuck in between time and space. At times I remember about the past which often brings back bad memories of people and events. The usual me who take things as it is - the principle of NORM, has started making comparison which eventually lead to whining and lots of complaining. At present, I feel so restless. The body and mind just refuses to function, thinking that there's still time, why not enjoy now. Looking into the future, I fear that time is not on my side and I cannot imagine the amount of work I have to complete before the deadlines. At times like this, I just would probably want to say, "I am screwed."

We keep telling ourselves and even others that every year will be a better year. Are we consoling ourselves with the present losses or are we just hopping that little statement will motivate us to press on? In my opinion, consolation more than motivation. Every year will never be a better year unless you choose to remain status quo which is impossible to reach unless you are a true master in repetition. I mean how can anyone perform the same set of events that make him or her happy every year with no worries and troubles. Look at the economic crisis, the rising oil prices and not forgetting the erected gantries of sonic speed payment (ERP), "BEEP!". Plus the escape of "Toilet" man who is no where to be seen till today. With so much entertainment, how can we not change and adapt to these man made forces?

I am not complaining about the materialistic itinerary of these events. It is the concept that I am referring to. Back in my earlier days, I have believed that ones life is destined from the day we are born. No matter how much effort we put in, we have already been cursed or blessed. The only thing that is dragging us, is time itself. But over the years, I begin to see things differently. There are things that changed. People, who can be your closest ones or your nemesis are the scariest form of creation that the world has. Their sudden twit in behaviour can bring you to cloud nine or send you to the deepest level of earth where you see no light.

Unknowingly, we have reached an era of concentration. The amount of forces that have been pushing us all these years have blown plenty away. Like a syringe that has reached its max, our over achieving actions to outdo the principle of science has caused the syringe to crack and eventually give way.

Being competitive is good, but over competitiveness has a price to pay. If everyone wants to be the best, what is left for our younger generations? Will it come a day when everyone has come to a standstill and ask "What to do next?"

"...Like a cumulative curve, whatever goes up must eventually come down. And when that down time comes, will we ask ourselves what have we all been fighting for?..."

Birthday Pics

2008-07-01T22:57:00.003+08:00

Thanks to Felicia =], I managed to steal the photos taken during the birthday celebration last Saturday. Thanks so much =].

I will title these photos, The Kidnap of Anpanman.

Enjoy.

The lovely Mango Cheese cake from Sim Ming Centre. So nice, you simply want more.

The 2 kidnappers accompanied by another who guided me along the way. I nearly fell . . . LOL =]

Look at how frighten I was. I did not even dare to move. Haha!

"It will be a day I'll always be reminded of the good times I had with them.
Thank you . . ."

Unexpected yet so memorable

2008-06-29T11:58:00.002+08:00

27th June 2008 have passed and I am a year older now. This year marks a very exciting birthday year for me as I have received a special surprise that I least expected.

I would like to thank all those who have wished me Happy Birthday and your well wishes. Really appreciated your thoughts and I am grateful to have known you guys. =]

I would also like to especially thank those who I have known through SB club for that wonderful and unforgettable birthday celebration at Fish & Co yesterday evening. Having being blindfolded and walking all the way from Dhoby Ghaut station nearly caused my life as I almost fell. HaHaha.

Also, thank you for the pair of Reebok running shoes which I will definitely used it during the Mizuno run this month. The celebration yesterday gave me a great shock but I enjoy it very much. Thank you guys for preparing all this.

p.s. I was really lucky that I didn't get my face smashed into the cake. It was a blessing that I had a mango cheese cake. For the smart person who bought the cake, you saved my life. Hahahaha. =] And if there happen to have any photos taken that day, I will try to put it up here.

Let the song do the talking

2008-06-12T23:58:00.000+08:00

Glen Hansard - Falling Slowly Lyrics

I don't know you
But I want you
All the more for that
Words fall through me
And always fool me
And I can't react
And games that never amount
To more than they're meant
Will play themselves out

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It's time that you won

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice
You've made it now
Falling slowly sing your melody
I'll sing along

Random

2008-06-08T18:56:00.007+08:00

Is Tonight by FM Static. Hope you guys like it like I do. Thanks Bart for this great song on his blog =].

I remember the times we spent together
On those drives
We had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York
Everything felt right
I wish you were here with me
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And I used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait

I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus
And how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad
Sometimes not having you here
I sing

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you, I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you I can just look up
And know the stars are
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

SRR with pictures

2008-06-01T12:53:00.010+08:00

7 days before today marks the end of River Raft competition with SB claiming the top prize in the River Raft Race. As promised, I will be putting up some pictures here that were captured during the event. I came to realize that all the pictures is about us. Haha. . .

Guess How I feel

2008-05-29T00:11:00.002+08:00

A bottle without any liquid

A pen that runs out of ink

A disc that runs out of memory

A score that is 0

A pond that has dried up

A piece paper that is blank

An answer that is left unanswered

A person staring into the sky blankly

Two sides

2008-05-25T22:20:00.002+08:00

2 months of hard work, 200,000 of calories burned, 20 buckets of mix sweat and blood, about 2 billions of dead brain cells and insufficient sleep with several occurrences of cursing and swearing, SP Singapore River Raft has finally closed its chapter with us claiming FIRST prize in the FOAMula - One Inter school race. We begin writing a new chapter and has brought School of Business into a new journey that we have least expected to venture on.

Being shunned and looked down upon, we have emerged victorious in front of many amazed eyes that were later filled with agony and rage. Unfairness is what they say but the truth still remains as a fact after all. SB has won the race with dignity and pride. Our moment of glory came with us abiding to standards that were written clearly in black and white which eventually were burned to ashes. If unfairness is their claims, what's more left for us?

POWER RANGER - Singapore Series
The journey started with 5 heroes, with a passion to win and a heart that syn. We have many thanks to these heroes who have made the impossible into possible because they believe in one another's potential to perform.

The Brain Ranger - QianYi
A really big thanks to pink ranger (colour of the brain) for the many ideas you've contributed in making the miracle raft aka turbo car. Though most of your ideas are quite far fetched, but a little fine tuning and filtering, we could turn your ideas realistic. Without your opinions, the raft would have be impossible. Of course we also acknowledge your hard work in cutting the boards for the spoilers and opening the tin of super glue with a 5 cent coin. It is because of the super glue that we could join the parts of the raft together. Many thanks.

The Motivator Ranger - Ivan
The motivator of the team who has been supporting us through out the raft building process. As the black ranger, you have been following us behind in our shadows encouraging us all the way. At times your presence has made things processed so much quicker and more effectively. We thank you for your assistance and really appreciate your effort. Thank you once again.

The Heroic Rangers - Jeremy and Sheng Yuan
The heroes who possess the colours of blue and red. Overcoming their rage with calmness, the balance control of emotion has made us claim victory in today's battle. Your hard work and effort has certainly paid off and has made the victory so much more sweeter and fulfilling. You guys have written a new history with your hands and have made the people around overjoyed. Without your sincere contribution to this event, we couldn't have make it thus far. I hoped this experience will forever stay with you and if you ever happen to forget about it just remember your butt getting cooked on top of the raft. Thank you guys very very much.

The Supporters
We will also like to take this opportunity to thank those who have sent their well wishes and good lucks. A big thanks to the people like Shyanne, Carrie and Vivian from SB who have taken some time off to support the team. Your presence is indeed greatly appreciated as you've forced a certain form of pressure on us to press on. Great thanks.

The team would also like to show our appreciations to the advisors, Mr Caleb and Mr Alex for their assistance in getting tapes and glue. Without your help, our tires could have detached themselves from the raft, floating aimlessly in Singapore River. Many thanks for your jokes too.

On behalf of everyone, we thank the rangers for their effort and the sacrifices they have made for this event. I hoped the experiences we shared will forever be etched in our mind. And with every time we look out to a river, we will be reminded about the happy moments we have during this event.

In every other and any other ways, we thank each and everyone who have made this event so memorable. Either good or bad, the fact is SB has won FIRST PRIZE in SP Inter school Foamula One RACE.

WELL DONE!

P.S. Photos will be put up soon. Need time to gather them. Till then.

A word to our fellow mates who took part in the race:
...simplicity and complexity? what's the different in the end?....

What an eventful week

2008-05-20T21:57:00.003+08:00

I was looking through my diary and to my realization, I am fully pack with lots of stuffs to complete. From completing of assignmentS to making final touch up to the raft to night class and so on. I am officially pack to the brim. And another week from now will be 3 weeks vacation which I term them as "Assignment/Project" weeks. Will be heading to school quite often. What a vacation...

Anyway, this weekend is officially River Raft Days. Will be at Clarke Quay on both days. Saturday will be the judging for the Most Innovative Raft award from 3:00 pm to 5:30 pm and on Sunday will be the RACE of the rafts from different schools which most probably be a whole day event from 8 am to 5:30pm. But the race will start at 11 am. So if you guys are planning to support our rowers, do come down at 10:30 am. FYI, I am not rowing. Hahahah. I assign people to row. But seriously, looking at my size do you think the raft can support? Lol.

Anyway, details regarding the event can be found at this link, http://schoolofbusinessclub.googlepages.com/home

Hope to see you guys there.

Foolish + Selfish = I

2008-05-15T22:59:00.006+08:00

I was reading my previous post and I realize how dumb I am to think that way. In my situation, I am considered very lucky. Anything that I am facing right now cannot be compared to many many things. Many things are happening right now yet all I ever think is myself. I feel terrible.

This post is dedicated to those who have suffered and lost their close ones during the Mayamma cyclone disaster as well as the Si Chun earthquake. In whichever situation you are right now, I hope you find inner strength to continue living not solely for yourself but also to those who have ascended from the disasters.

"Crisis happens. Is this a test or is heaven being cruel? From what I know, is not easy getting through this right now."

Becoming a year wiser

2008-05-13T22:26:00.005+08:00

Last Sunday was Mother's Day and I went shopping with a friend to get her Mother's Day gift. Along the way we were sharing how we or mostly she celebrates her Mother's Day every year. And it kept me thinking how my family celebrates such a joyous occasion. To my surprise, I have no recollection of such a celebration in my deepest memory and it came to my realization that my family does not have the culture of celebrating such occasions. Maybe we did but it kind of faded along the years.

Our conversation went on and it came to the topic on birthdays. That topic struck me again. The only thing that came out of my mouth was "We do not celebrate birthdays. At most we have a decent meal at night." And with that sentence, it kept me wondering if I have a weird family or is it just plain ordinary for this to occur. Maybe we don't see our birthdays as something to be so significant. I don't know. What you think?

10 years passed and 10 years breezed through. The last celebration I had was when I was turning 10. I remember we had dinner at one of the buffet restaurants which served marvelous Japanese and Mongolia dishes. Every food we pick just seems to end up in our tummy. Becoming a glutton was a sin to be forgiven on that day.

After that sumptuous dinner, we headed to the beach for a walk. I can still recall the tender freshness of the evening air and the ever comforting sea breeze that brushes silky along the skin. And of course the awesome hairdo after having to face the breeze for quite a moment.

That fragment of time seems so simple yet so precious. I believe for many years of birthday celebrations there can only be one that we feel important and precious to us.

As time pass and with each year getting older, birthdays seem no longer exciting anymore. I can't blame anyone for anything as many hiccups occurred after that portion of my memory. We were bracing through difficult times and it wasn't easy for us to settle down. Having to be a part of this family has made me understand the different status of life from being once a prince to a pauper and back on to be normal. Life is never smooth sailing and there are times we just have to fight and be responsible for what we feel is true to us. And I am thankful to be able to learn this lesson from my family. Even if history would to repeat itself again, I will choose to stand alongside with them as they have given me so much yet I have so little time to repay them.

A month to come and I am a year wiser. Actually older. With the figure 2 in front of your age doesn't make you young anymore. Haha.

At times I wonder why am I still here. At my age, most would have entered army or finished national service and furthering their studies in university or even working from then on. Thinking about this makes me feels so silly of myself. Having to spend an extra year in secondary school and another year in polytechnic (JC is only 2 years) I realize how much time I have wasted and what I could be doing right now. And thinking about the amount of time I have to waste after NS and if I wish to purse my studies has instantly engraved the word "STUPID" all around me. Sometimes I am glad I took the normal way of life and education but when I see how others progress so quickly, I wonder to myself "Why can't I be like them?"

Embarking on the 20 journey, what do I have to prepare or am I even prepared? Will this year be any different or will my life stay status quo? What changes can I expect? Drastic? Pleasant? Unsure of the future ahead makes me afraid of the road in front of me.

...With the only lamp post beaming from above, with the dark fog covering the surroundings, a little boy squats, leaning against the lamp post, with both arms crossed in front of him, he ask "Where should I go? Is anyone there?"...

In an hour

2008-05-05T13:06:00.005+08:00

Time check 1:06 pm. In another hour or less to come, I will be heading down to class for Data Mining and Warehousing Lecture. Before that, I would like to see how many "stories" I can come up with within this hour or so.

Recently, I have seen and experienced changes in my behaviour, character as well as my attitude towards certain things. I have somewhat become more rebellious and easily hot tempered for reasons that I find silly when I look back at the incidents. This is very unlike my usual self who pays no attention to many things and take life naturally (I mean as life literally). However, this year seems different. Whining and complaining has become part and parcel of my lifestyle. Fighting and stating my rights and views seem to be occurring so frequently. It is almost as if I am placing my life in an arena or particularly a judgement court.

But unlike any court, the victim and the convict are no two different people but me and myself. This is normally refer to as split personality or having an alter ego. Simply put, I am basically arguing with my inner voice. At times I can feel so happy and willing to do anything, but when somethings just do not go my way, I allow my alter ego to step in and argue my point of view. Whether is this a good or bad thing, I have yet to find out. As for the time being, I will stop getting so frustrated easily and become silent for a while till things get out of hand.

Only time can tell

2008-04-24T18:31:00.002+08:00

I was once asked if I ever feel anything other than being happy? Why do I always look so carefree and be so positive about things? Do I not get frustrated or vexed over anything in this world? How am I able to cope with so many things and yet end them off so nicely?

Remember about the monk and man story I spoke to you in the previous post? The man asked the monk if life is all about sufferings and nothing else. While the monk reply was that life is not determined by your personal emotions, but time itself. Sacrifices have to be made but which should you let go and make yourself happier at that moment of your life.

If you understand the above paragraph, you will most likely guess the answers for the questions above. But then again, is life really that easy to be satisfied after all? My answer is "Is not easy leading my kind of life..."

"We yearn to have super natural powers and lead a fairy tale life. But we all know these are just dreams we fantasize about. Because all these are impossible, I shield myself, put on a facade and choose to be hurt at certain times. Such sacrifices and pains are noting compared to the destruction of my dream world. If I have to lie to protect what's precious to me, am I being too naive?"

A week pass and the road seems so congested

2008-04-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

At this day, I flip the hard cover of my diary, tilt open my foundation pen and as I begin writing my story on a fresh new page, I entitled my first chapter "Why?"

18th April 2008, 11:59 pm. Another second from now, the first week of school term has marked its end leaving me with many thoughts and feelings. Frustrated, depressed, happy or confused? I am unsure of which should I be feeling right now.

I was hoping for a good head start especially when this is my last year in school. Concentrating on my studies was my utmost priority as I have no intention of leaving a trace of "black" marks in my academic results. Making new friends was not so much of a concern because some how or in some ways, I make friends quite easily. But staying closer with friends can seem a little meddlesome especially when some of us are drifting from one another due to separation from CCA or class arrangements.

So I thought I would fully utilize every opportunity that comes to gather friends from all sides of the world to work and enjoy the company we have with one another. In fact, the opportunity came and that was the River Raft Race event which I have taken up to do with reasons that I am unsure of back then. No matter what the reason is, one thing for sure is that I am reluctant to leave a very family oriented organization that has brought me new friends (sub or org comm) who have enriched my life in SB. I have them so much to thank for.

Now talking about class arrangement. I am pretty happy for the fact that I am still kept with the same class as last year. The only troubling thing is that 2 of my gang (The Miss Family) has been transferred to another class because of Entrepreneurship Concentration. The puzzled part is there are 3 others who are taking the same concentration who came over to our class. I am not saying that I do not welcome them, in fact I am happy to be able to make friends with them in time to come. But why did the management team had to transfer them to other unfamiliar classes? Can't they stay with the class they are close to? In any case, I wish all of them all the best and hope you guys can find joy in staying which classes you are posted to.

On the topic on staying closer with friends, I think my first step would be my participation in DBIT Bonding Day. It is an event where I actually work with my class ex chairman who has always been the middle man of two clans at the start of year 2 last year. I must say he has indeed done an excellent job in bonding the class. A very easy going person yet very decisive. May our first batch of committee strive to make our first bonding day event a success with so much fun and excitement.

I have received news that I have been elected as one of the four members to participate in Worldskill Competition in Singapore. When I heard the news, feeling happy and overjoyed seems so awkward. Frankly speaking, I did not expect myself to be one of the four much less my interest in this competition seems so scattered. Hoping to be free from the grasp of this competition and enjoy my last year to the fullest seems so impossible right now. Trainings after trainings will commence pretty soon. Is my life chained up again?

There was once a wise man asked, "人生是不是一个苦字？" He asked if life is all so bitter? Everyday, new problems surface, troubles keep building up in all of us, frustration seems never ending and we feel so confuse. Is heaven putting us on a test to determine our survival that makes us stonger or are we just the pawn pieces of their chess game?

The monk thought for a while and said, "人生不能以苦字形容。但能以时间来决定。人生短短几年，要学会拿得起，放得下。" He said life is so fragile and is determined not by frustrations but time itself. Learn to accept and let go certain things in life. Accept tasks given to you postively and do them well so that you will not only be satisfied but confident in accomplishing much more than what you think you can. But in exchange, there are certain things that you have to learn to let go, sacrifice, before a crisis fall upon you. This is refer to as equivalent trade in life.

Upon hearing this, I questioned myself "Why am I so different then?"

"If life is like what the old monk has said, why am I not doing it? Why am I so different?"

Picture Post Again

2008-04-13T15:09:00.012+08:00

And another 8 more hours to go and it will be MONDAY, 14th April 2008!

At a certain time of this day you will find yourself waken up by a seemingly familiar ring from a device call an alarm clock. You open your blurry eyes and you say "Still early. Another 5 minutes". 5 minutes have passed, and you say "Another 5 minutes". After repeating the same phrase 6 more times, you scream and say "I AM LATE!".

School begins for all SP students tomorrow. If you are not aware of that, you should start worrying now. HeHe. Some of you will be sad while some will be, well, depressed. Did I forget to mention that some will be on clouds nine? In any case, a good start is already half a battle won. So don't be late and stay awake.

Tomorrow is first day of school, so I reckon there shouldn't be anything much. Don't miss the only day you can slack in school. Well, I end school at 6 though =].

In any case, most of us will be enjoying our last moment of private time slacking at home or out shopping, playing and what nodes. As for me, I spend my time designing t-shirt for DBIT Bonding day. That sounds really interesting right? Well, I am not complaining....

So here's some pictures you can enjoy for the rest of this post. =]

Oh ya, I am putting up some SB designs too. I was bored during ITP and went to try out Photoshop CS3. Enjoy again =]

For SB:

Package 1:

FRONT

BACK

Package 2:

FRONT

BACK

For DBIT:

Package 1:

FRONT

BACK

Package 2:

FRONT

BACK

Package 3:

FRONT

BACK

Package 4:

FRONT

BACK

Package 5:

FRONT

BACK

Package 6:

FRONT

FRONT

FRONT

BACK

BACK

Complaint? Why should you?

2008-04-12T18:19:00.003+08:00

Everyday we complaint and whine about many things under the sun. From personal affairs, work, studies, money and the list just keeps rolling. So maybe here's something for you which maybe your remedy for all your vexing troubles.

Enjoy!

I AM THANKFUL:

FOR THE WIFE

WHO SAYS IT'S HOT DOGS TONIGHT.

BECAUSE SHE IS HOME WITH ME

AND NOT OUT WITH SOMEONE ELSE

FOR THE HUSBAND

WHO IS ON THE SOFA BEING A COUCH POTATO

BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME

AND NOT OUT AT THE BARS

FOR THE TEENAGER

WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES

BECAUSE IT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME

NOT ON THE STREETS

FOR THE TAXES I PAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM EMPLOYED

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM OUT IN THE SUNSHINE

FOR A LAWN THAT NEEDS MOWING,

WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,

AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE A HOME

FOR ALL THE COMPLAINING

I HEAR ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT

BECAUSE IT MEANS WE HAVE FREEDOM OF SPEECH

FOR THE PARKING SPOT

I FIND AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM CAPABLE OF WALKING

AND I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH TRANSPORTATION

FOR MY HUGE HEATING BILL

BECAUSE IT MEAN I AM WARM

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH

WHO SINGS OFF KEY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I CAN HEAR

FOR THE PILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR

FOR WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES

AT THE END OF THE DAY

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF WORKING HARD

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF

IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS

BECAUSE IT MEANS I AM ALIVE

AND FINALLY ,

FOR TOO MUCH EMAIL

BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME

Pictures will do the talk today

2008-04-09T22:16:00.014+08:00

I have something in mind to blog about today. But will leave that till tomorrow, I hope.

Anyway, here are some repeating logos which I created for DBIT Bonding Day. This is the first time I am hearing about this event exclusive to DBIT. I wonder how it will go on that day.

Enjoy even though they are repetitive.

Is not easy, definitely not easy

2008-04-06T14:16:00.006+08:00

Is not easy, definitely not easy...

I was reading through some of the blogs today. And the thing I expected to happen has eventually taken place. Though it doesn't have a direct impact on me, but I feel so helpless knowing that I can't do anything to prevent this catastrophe from happening.

"Sometimes things are meant to happen. But it is not important to know how they happen but how to resolve them."

Working in a group is not easy, definitely not easy when our closest friends are concerned. We always have to be mindful of when to say the right things at the right time and how to sweeten every bad comments we have so that our parities' feelings do not get dampen or worst still, HURT. If it is friendship that we are trying to maintain making us do the above mentioned, what exactly is a truthful friendship then?

"I often asked myself if I am doing the right thing for you, or am I destroying you?"

Playing the bad person is not easy, definitely not easy when everyone starts to hate you instead of thanking you. Humans are weird creatures filled with anger and hatred, often triggered not by their sanity but largely from their emotions. And sadly to say, that negative side of ours is what keeping us together. To believe that bonds between friends are built based on love and trust is nothing but a fairy tale story. A community is built not because of the flowery word call LOVE, but our interest in a common enemy.

Recall every conversations you have with your group of friends and do you remember that a subject is always mentioned and discussed in your carefree discussions? And every time this subject is brought up, we exhaust ourselves in this discussion so much so that sometimes we offset the fact that who are we to speak about him/her? Unless we are Mr and Mrs Perfects, which hardly anyone is, maybe is time for us to consider thanking that person for bringing us together.

"If it wasn't for me being your subject of conversation, will you still be friends?"

Becoming a leader is not easy, definitely not easy when you are blamed unjustifiably. If you haven't noticed, the easiest way to safeguard your face from sticky situations is to dump the blame on someone. Very often someone who is, in your own opinion, lower than you? All we have to do is to push the responsibility to a particular person using our weights often refer to as "POSITION" or "SENIORITY" or simply put "OLD AGE".

Looking at our current practices in Singapore, as long as you are younger than someone, you are deemed to be inexperienced or childish often used by "SENIORS" who have limits to their vocabulary. Because we are young and capable, these seniors are simply jealous of our talents and given their limited spend of time, and their fear of losing or being shunned away because they are too senior, they throw all kinds of nonsensical tantrums and blaming others except themselves. Very often, their excuse would be, "I have already told you to do this this this and that that that. It is because of your mistakes that I am facing all the unnecessary troubles. You have to take responsible for it. I know you too well. You are not fit to be a leader."

Hold your horses senior. Before jumping to thesis that I am to be blamed for everything, please look at the bigger picture.

Firstly, can you scale how big my mistake is? I know even if it is a minor mistake and I can't do them well, does that give you any grounds to justify that I am incapable of doing something within your scope as well?

Secondly, the reason that you have assigned the job to me is because you trusted me in accomplishing them let say on behalf of you. And if you come blaming at the very second the job was not being done, have you schemed up every steps so that you can put the blame on me and push me to my limits?

Thirdly, which part of our conversation did I ever state that I didn't officially get the job done for you? Did you give me a chance to explain things first before storming your fouling temper on me?

Fourthly, after hearing me out and if you see that I have done something so wrong, will it be too late for you to be raging on me, dear senior?

Lastly, couldn't you just question me politely like how all other respectable seniors often known as honourable leaders will do? I am your subordinate learning to be a respectable leader like you. Or do you wish that I become your other side?

"So often that we are enraged at times, we miss out the big picture. Calm down and take things further. There is no point in bringing out our past mistakes and carry them on. A learning journey is all we should embark on now together."

I hereby apologise if somehow the scenarios above have inevitably in a way similar to any cases you have so happen to experience it before. I declare that I have written this post from personal point of view and self expression. In fact, none of the above mentioned have I ever experienced it before. Any unmistakably scenes should be taken objectively and be used as points of information. Any subjects or names mentioned are coincidental and should not be taken into any real account. I thank you for reading this post and hope to see you again.

Look into the mirror and what do you see?

2008-03-14T09:02:00.004+08:00

Today is "Look into the mirror and what do you see" post. Don't understand? Simply means reflection post.

Attachment hasn't been that great for the past 3 weeks. Let's say it feels more like schooling rather than working for me. I come to school, do competition papers, go through solutions and the whole routine repeats again for the next day. Everyday passes without gaining much working experiences. Maybe life is easier for me this way, but it beats the purpose of this progarmme.

"Do I regret?" you asked.

"What more can I say?"

Alright, work aside. Social life.

My social network has since stopped growing due to attachment. The only friends I have been working closely with are those who are involved in the "youthinkofawordtodescribe" competition. Though we may have come closer in understanding one another weaknesses and strengths, I have missed the opportunity to be connected with the working world. In other words, I am kept within my comfort zone of friends and have yet to experience the world of cruelty which was my drive to look forward to my attachment.

"When all things fall, what am I to do?"

However, on the brighter note, I am able to spend more time with my family during this vacation. My home, my shelter, barricades all my troubles, disappointments, frustration, you name it that stacks up inside me day by day. No matter where or how I am, my mum's alluring dishes will be my rope that guides me back home when the sky turns dark. Seeing how happy every member in the family is jolts me to press on and not give up till the very end.

"All they ever wish for is to give my best. And I will."

Staying connected.

I am glad that I met up with some friends this vacation. The dramatic people from sec school and crazy going nerdy SB club members who have been working so hard for the past 2 days. The YEAR ONES are indeed incredible people who work non stop yet immersed so much energy from God knows where and continue to slog their guts out like crazy. Crazy yet remarkable. I heard that both events were a success and wish you guys smooth sailing for FOC and may the heaven bless you with good weather.

"Can we come back during FOC buffet or dinner night?"

Right ahead.

5 more weeks to the end of this "youthinkofawordtodescribe" life. Will be catching the play "Pillow man" on 3rd April with dramatically aesthetically people. Really looking forward to that. And school will be starting in a month time? So to those who have yet to spend this very short vacation, it is time you find one day to something meaningful, something out of the norm. Of course, if you are underage to do certain things, refrain from attempting them.

"I heard there will be no E-Learning week for next year. Is this good or bad?"

Questions for the day

2008-03-10T22:06:00.011+08:00

What is that ONE thing you YEARN the most?

What is that ONE thing you MISS the most?

What is that ONE thing that FRUSTRATES you the most?

What is that ONE thing that SADDENS you the most?

What is that ONE thing that makes you SMILE the most?

Work, study? I prefer the latter

2008-02-22T22:26:00.003+08:00

Industrial Training Programme, ITP is totally no joke. Working is such a tedious life accomplishment. I miss going to school. I miss the life of being a student. I miss the freedom I have been whining about. I miss everything except working my guts out.

Sometimes I wonder how I got myself into all these craps. Why do I choose to be different or Extras. Why did I bother to take up the "thing" that I am losing fate and interest in? Why can't I lead the life of a normal student? Why can't I learn to reject offers for so many years? Why do I always respond with a "YES" when someone ask "Can you do this for me"? Why am I being so so so ...

Maybe I just love getting myself into unnecessary duties. Maybe I am fated to do things that no one loves to do. Maybe I am just too kind. Maybe I need results to prove my competency. Maybe I just have too much time. Maybe I feel life too smooth sailing for me. Maybe I am just being dumb and oblivious of myself. Maybe I do not have a dream. Maybe just maybe I ...

But I am certain that my sweat and blood will turn into Gold. But I am sure that I will be satisfied with my accomplishments. But I will be able learn to be a better person. But I believe I will get stronger and await my future endeavors. But I really have the desire to take them on. But I am happy when I am being different and noticed. But, but I , I ...

Am I lying to myself? Am I deceiving my fate? Am I thinking foolishly? Am I turning greedy for attention? Am I becoming proud? Am I lost in my world? Am I capable of doing anything right? Am I being too naive over my accomplishments? Am I even suppose to be happy with my results? Am I...

"my life is as boring as the stagnant water. as still as the motionless sky. as dry as the burning desert. as lifeless as a dry leaf. as empty as a growning stomach. as meaningless as a criminal's life"

Happy Chinese New Year?

2008-02-09T23:26:00.000+08:00

First and foremost, let me wish you a very Happy Chinese New Year and may the year of the rat brings you lots of wisdom and creativity.

Chinese New Year is never the same each year. As every new year commences, the people I see and recognized as relatives get lesser and lesser. Chinese New Year (CNY) seems to be a child's dream to meet many people, get lots of angpoa and say well wishes without knowing the purpose and are often taught to say them because their parents told them to as a form of respect to the elders. In return, we see the smiling faces of the elders not knowing the story behind their past or whether their intentions were ever genuine.

If you asked what keeps CNY going in Singapore these days, my answer would be our grandparents. Grandparents are the reason that the seemingly true CNY exists till today. They are the key characters that remind their children to visit them only at this time of the year. Reunion dinner is nothing much but a facade to stage their children's filial and piety towards them. It is nothing much but to keep their parents happy on this very one and only occasion.

When our grandparents meet their makers, families that share the same blood become strangers and pretends become a norm. They will try with any means and methods to define the true meaning of isolation and desertion by avoiding any of them even to take a peek. If they meet coincidentally, smiles that are drawn by both parties' faces will mean nothing but "I am not exactly really happy to see you" gesture.

From the ignorant kid to a semi conscious teenager, I realize that many times the above drama takes place revolves around the issue of money and gaining favoritism. Money comes into the picture when the adults always claim that they do not have enough cash to support the elderly and wish that the other siblings do their part in supporting them. The younger siblings revoke and claim that "You are doing so well what. I still have to feed a family of 5 with 3 small children who are still studying." The elder will come in and say, "You can handle one. Times are bad and my salary isn't increasing." And sometimes you really wonder how the family of 5 is able to afford a condominium and a posh car and the the person who has been working all this while is receiving incentives from their children and there seem to be not enough for their retirement age.

And when one party is willing to play the goodie-two-shoes, the others become jealous and whine that they are putting on a good act so that they will be able to receive most of the assets from the elders. They become bitter and start showing displeasures and unhappiness with all the drama. They think that with as much favoritism gain, the amount of assets obtain increases as well. But as parents themselves, have they ever wonder if they would be so biased to the point that their assets will be unevenly distributed to their own children? Or the question of whether there is any asset worth fighting for the very first place?

As we ponder these questions, we sit down and ask ourselves,"If we are so capable and we believe in our own potential, is there a need to fight for anything among ourselves? What have our grandparents or parents ever done to receive this treatment and be the main character of this childish play?"

Generations after generations, will the Chinese New Year legacy ever be taught and passed to our children properly with the right cultural practices? Or will our elders be the nameless characters of our immature act in our story?

"FAMILY means father and mother I love you"

Surprise

2008-02-05T00:49:00.000+08:00

I will blog later. Hahaha! Surprise =]

Satisfying and really happy

2008-02-02T23:12:00.000+08:00

Hey, stop thinking "yellow" after reading the title above. What I meant was that these 2 days have been really fulfilling and enjoyable. Didn't stay at home and slack my time off. I believe most of you will be swearing at me as many of you had done that, obviously. Hehe.

I went to the gym on Friday. I realize how much my body has deteriorated over the pass 2 months of just eating and studying. My stamina has gone down, breathing and body are totally not synchronized. The amount of time taken to do the same sets of work out took much longer than the last time I did them. Everything is screwing up. Even my mass has increased. But the instructor there and even my friends said I lost. Ain't sure if the looks can be deceiving to them. In any case, it is about time to start getting in shape before NAPFA comes. I really have no intention and desire to spend 3 more months with the army. But first thing first, I hope the pain on both arms recover quickly as I reckon I could have over exerted my arms during the last training. Anyways, Monday will be the day for another gorilla training.

Oh ya, I also had my hair cut. Feel so lighted headed now. Definitely not getting dumber. LOL.

Today is definitely the best day of the week. Went out with sec school friends to town. Had lunch at Subway in Cineleisure (I think that is how you spell it) and went over to NAFA to meet Dass and his fanciful fashion artworks. He was stationed to do the "Archives" where students and lecturers works were displayed. Most of the pieces I say are really beautiful. Too bad you can only find them in fashion schools and not in the market. And they have these complex sewing machines that are computerized. Like how pockets and your button holes can actually be automatically created. Even crazy patterns that you never thought of creating can all be done automatically. And I always thought they only had these swing machines which our grandmothers would used at home to do sewing available in their school, but I was wrong.

Anyways Dass brought us up and down, left and right, level to level and door to door to only realize how compact the school really is.

Personally, I felt the school was rather restricted. There isn't much space for students to breath or even a place to chill in school. There are insufficient rooms for students to just sit down and chat during free time. All I saw were classrooms after classrooms and many more classrooms after the next classroom. The school also lacks in greenery or something that is close to the definition and existence of nature. They are surrounded by walls that are coated with chill white and areas that become gloomy without the lighting. Even the exterior environment of the school sends in a gush of urgency and complication. Everywhere you see are buildings and shop houses that encapsulates the school as they shadow upon it. The only form of movements you can see are the busy people walking on the street and vehicles driving pass the tireless road of 38 Bencoolen Street in a uniform, single direction.

I ponder how these students are driven to attend school everyday from the early mornings to the late evenings and sometimes the nights. What burst them to make them craving to report to school everyday? We say designers or in general, artists are people with extraordinary mindset. They think things out of the norms. Sometimes they can be over conservative yet at times they can be so spontaneously outgoing. How are students and even lecturers in NAFA able to cope with this cold and shadowed life?

Is it for love or the passion to learn and educate oneself and others? Is it friendship or fair competitiveness that spur them on? As confused as I am, as irrational the answers I thought of can be, there is one thing I am certain about and that is my admiration for these people, the great artists that represent the arts of the world. Their extraordinary minds have given them the path to look things in a certain way that makes them paralyzed to the norms of lives. As an ordinary folk, I view their surroundings as the living world of chaos but in their eyes, the school is a perfect piece of artwork that glitters with their sweat and exhaustions. In my mind I feel that their work is too much and heavily overloaded, but in their world they produce each work with their love and tears of both bitterness and sweetness with each stitch they sew and with each stroke they draw.

Carrying these thoughts in mind, I wrote to Dass, "Dass is Sivadass, nothing but a dust." This sentence carries my deepest sorrows and happiness for you. You have indeed emerge out from your former shell and has transformed into a person who you truly are. Your potentials stand alone like a speck of dust which sinks in equally together with the millions of other outstanding candidates. We are truly happy for you and are glad that you have come thus far. As your new year commences, I wish you all the very best in your future endeavors.

"As much as you want to be, as much as you want to become, it all starts with being yourself."

Anyway, if you are bored reading the above, here is a Star Wars video from MadTV. Enjoy.

Please write legibly

2008-01-31T23:10:00.000+08:00

Just finished entering 82 pieces of interviewees' details from a survey done in school. It is regarding a seminar that was held for secondary school kids to know more about banking and finance. You maybe asking how in the world did I get myself in all this mess even though is after the exams, the period to spread my wings and fly? Well, the job was given to me earlier this semester but the lecturer insisted that I should focus on my studies first and get this done over the holidays. So being a good boy, I followed my lecturer's advice and now I am indeed glad in a way as I have something to do. But it will not last for long. So anymore plans for the holidays? I am not so sure.

Now, time to grumble. One thing I couldn't stand while compiling the details was the handwritings of our kids today. I am not saying that I have the best handwritings in the world, but at least they can be read, legible. You cannot believe how some of these kids fill in their details. They might as well just draw a line across and pretend that the person viewing them will be able to guess and fill in the blanks for them. I understand that compiling these details can be very boring, but we do not request you to entertain us by giving us puzzles to add on to our frustration. I thank those who have given me a simpler job by writing neatly and legibly. We have fingers and wrist for a reason. Control them and write properly. Some of them have been writing for 13 to 15 years. They have to learn to draw a line between being artistic and realistic. Do this in your O levels and see what you will get. A punch will be something the markers would like to send you after marking your hideous papers. Gosh, please learn to write if you haven't been doing so. Even if you have to start from the very beginning like kindergarten level.

A load off my chest now. Back to reality. I didn't go down to NAFA today for Dass's open house. If you are reading this, I'm so sorry as I had plans to finish up all my work this week so that I can better utilize the rest of the weeks that I have left before ITP. I may do down tomoorow. And welcome back Emm. Read that you had a great time at Bangkok. Will arrange to meet someday with the rest and a lunch of course.

Will be looking forward to tomorrow though I have no plans yet. But I am sure to get myself a decent haircut and tire myself out with some work out. All the best for... I think the exams are over for my school right? Hmmm.... Take care and see ya soon. Really can't think of any best wishes.

"Make the person's job easy and things will look brighter for you. This is Karma. Write properly and your makers will feel blessed to mark you papers."

Came across this video by MadTV. It is about how a certain airplane company charges for ridiculous things such as oxygen. Enjoy.

1 paper down and free to go... maybe

2008-01-30T23:22:00.000+08:00

My exam has finally ended and I think I had survived through it pretty well. I was happy to have studied the topics that were closely tested and for the first time, I actually feel comfortable doing the papers. Unlike the past, this round was much smooth sailing I say. In any case, the unexpected may sometimes happen. So the only thing to do now is to pray and hope for the best on 27th Feb when the results will be announced. Wish me all the best and to you as well.

Went out with one of sec friends today. He would like to be better known as Dass. Had a great time looking through fashion books as he was searching for one and walking around the big mall that makes you walk in circles. I mean big rounds of circles. I think you know which I am referring to. The one at the end of the Purple train line. A great place to walk if you wish to escape from the hot weather and sun.

As for now, I am waiting for the anti virus scanning to complete on my computer. It is taking forever, ever, ever, and forever and ever to end. My Window Defender is giving me minor problems as well. Keeping my laptop in shape and to the best condition is one of my top priority. I do not wish it to die on me now. It has proven its value and accompanied through my difficult times. So stay strong. If only you can read what I am typing to you.

Feeling kind of tired now. Drowning into the stage of nothingness, I have no idea what to do tomorrow. Should I start working out or visit some old friends for a drink? In any case, I think I'll get my hair cut tomorrow and visit Dass at NAFA (Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts) for his school's open house. He studies fashion design and he excels in them for the strangest thing. I always wonder how anyone can do so well in this field when he often gets mix up with numbers. Haha. No offense.

In any case, many thoughts are flowing through my mind right now. Hope that I have kept you entertain all this while. All the best to those who are still having or taking their exams soon. Don't stress, take rest ya. Take care =]

"Emotions are erected by things that can be so micro and unnoticeable. They can sometimes be so devastating and yet so magical. When will they ever happen? Only time can tell I guess."

In case you are really bored and have a love for Maths, there is something interesting below which you should check it out. Brought to you by my lecturer. Enjoy.

This is for those who appreciate the beauty of Maths!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where someone wants you to

GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help

answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O-R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F-G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, It's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

It's up to you if you share this with your friends & loved ones just the way I did.

Have a nice day & God bless !!

1 more paper to go and that's tomorrow =]

2008-01-29T12:39:00.000+08:00

The module call SDT aka "Sure Die Test" was my second last paper yesterday. Don't get me wrong. The name I gave came into my mind randomly. In full, the module is known as "System Development Techniques." I always thought the module name was better known as "System Development Technologies." But the realization came to me when I was told to write the module name on my exam script and I was thinking which is correct and I couldn't flipped the paper over to check. It was even more embarrassing to ask the examiner for the module name as I am the one taking the paper. In short, I wasted 5 seconds of the examination time writing the last word of the module name. And you wasted a minute of your time reading this portion. I hope my sharing did provide some form of entertainment to you. =]

In any case, the paper was manageable and I think I'll be able to do well for it. That is the happy part. On the other side, tomorrow will be my last paper known as VDG2 aka "Very Dangerous Game 2". Don't get me wrong again. This time I am speaking for real. The module know as "Visual Design for the Web 2" is indeed a very tricky paper. In fact most of us who are studying for this paper are LOST.

The module teaches you how to develop animation clips using the software , Flash 8. This software is commonly used in most online interactive games. Looking through past year papers and the examination format, we are astounded by the kind of questions they ask. Look at this and tell me how should I answer it "List down step by step to create an animation of the car moving from left to right and making a turn at the end. (9 marks)" Who in the right state of mind will memorize all the functions, keys, sequence of the format of creating an animation? This is the same as asking someone to memorize the functions of Microsoft products and articulate them in written words with chronological order. The best part is there are billions of steps given in the book and we are expect to know it all. Praise the Lord. How should I study for this paper?

Sigh... My last paper is indeed a "Very Dangerous Game" level 2. FYI, it has the number 2 at the back as it is a follow up module from the previous semester. And the previous semester was so much easier. May the heroes of this game survive through this last order and emerge victorious tomorrow. Level 2 isn't suppose to be this hard you know.

All the best for tomorrow's last paper and expect the unexpected. Time for me to get my armory and ration ready. In another words to study la. LOL. Smile always =].

"Miracles do happen and they are always good. Disasters do happen and they are not necessary that bad. I think..."

Something Interesting. Try it.

2008-01-26T23:10:00.001+08:00

I found something interesting at Bart's blog and gave it a try. Maybe you should try it too. Enjoy.

What Seah Guo Hua Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.
You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.
You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.
You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.
At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.
Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.
Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.
You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.
Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way.
And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life.
You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.
You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.
At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning? CLICK HERE TO SEE

"Sometimes I wonder what is true and what is not. Can the above be one?"

An unproductive day

2008-01-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

If you ask me what is the most productive thing I have done today, my answer is "NOTHING." I am feeling so restless today and I have no mood for anything. Not mentioning the mood to even slack. I feel bored and extremely uncomfortable at home. My gosh, how I wish the examination ends right now. In any case, I have to get down to some serious work and studying. For those who are having your exams right now, work hard and enjoy later. To those who are like me, doing your ITP which starts on the 11th of Feb, good luck to you and I as we celebrate the 1 week of freedom left for us before work. And of course if you are attached to school for ITP like me, which I think none of anyone I know is, all I can say is all the best to me.

Anyways, when the break comes, I can expect to find myself in chalet with the SB nerds/members, and maybe an outing with the old pals from secondary school, I hope. And not forgetting Chinese New Year preparations. Have to buy a couple of stuffs. And happily waiting for the arrival of ITP. The good thing is I don't have to work on Saturdays and Sundays. The bad thing is I maybe asked to study for Worldskill Competition during my ITP. May I repeat, "DURING ITP".

Sigh... In any case, my working hours may not be fixed and I believe I will have time to slog myself for physical training as the great NAPFA awaits me. This is a good thing cos I seriously can't stand doing nothing at home. I feel super unhealthy. May this be the bright side of my misery I guess that is how I should put it?

So much for the whining, and time to get working. 2 more papers to go and I am free from the clutches of studies. Hahahaha!!!! FYI, I don't hate studying but I dislike examinations. Wish me all the best and I'll wish you to.

All the best. See I just did. Now is your turn.

"There is always 2 faces to a situation. The bright side and the dark side. The best side and the worst side, The front side and the back side."

I think you said backside. Haha =]

I thank you for the second chance

2008-01-24T21:30:00.000+08:00

Many things happened today and in fact I am really happy they occurred.

Today is the first paper of my examination. The module known as Web Service Development which in short also known as WSSD that deals with services provided online and all the codings behind is in fact a pretty easy to deal with paper. Pray that this is a good start and everything goes well from here.

Another thing that is worth celebrating is one that I have regretted not performing well during my secondary school term. If you are my closest friends, you should know what I am referring to.

"When all seems to enjoy, I was alone in my darkest moment."

Nevertheless, I am very glad of the outcome of the phenomena as I did not expect to obtain this result. I am thankful to be given this second chance to perform very well and believe my weaknesses can be converted into my strongest points.

"All it takes is to have faith and the belief that one can forever improve if you truly believe in yourself."

A series of events

2007-12-17T12:11:00.000+08:00

Many happy and unhappy things happened last week. It was a mixture of sweet and sour feelings. Sweet because I had a Christmas exchange gift session and I went out with my sec school mates. Sour because I was sick, down with flu, sore throat, fever and never ending series of coughs. What a bad time to be sick.

Anyway, no matter how bad my week can be, it was indeed a time for me take a break from all the troubles, projects and dramas that I had been through for the past couple of weeks. Last week was indeed a time out for me. I seriously needed that week to chill and recharge my battery.

A very big thank you to my Christmas angel, Cecilia for that wonderful blue towel (I bet you are trying to say that I'm smelly. Haha. Joking) and the moist monkey wrist rest (when my brother saw it, he thought it was a monkey toy plane and started playing with it). Also not forgetting the card with Anpanman (面包超人) in green costume. Haha. Another big thanks to our president, Ivan who has given us key chains that has names only SB club members will know. LOL.

I also hope that my mortal likes her gifts and to tell you the truth, the shirts were bought somewhere near school. Lalalala... Hehe. But baby Elmo was bought somewhere far far away. Hope you like them.

The gift exchange was indeed a successful event. We ought to have a debrief on it. Coming to think of it, we kind of miss out one debriefing session, I really wonder for which event? (eyes looking right and left).

I thank everyone for making this year fruitful and enjoyable. Lots of smilezzzz =] =] =] =] =]

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ONE AND ALL!

Every time wasted is a chance wasted

2007-11-28T13:24:00.001+08:00

"Evey time wasted is a chance wasted"

I happen to bump into this phrase a few weeks back as I was browsing through the list of my MSN nicks and I believe some of you who studies in SP will see it too. It is amazing how sometimes we can get such amazing phrases from our friends. The owner of this phrase may probably be laughing as he reads this post. Hint, hint, is a "HE".

Every time wasted is a chance wasted. I believe this statement is very self explanatory. Have we ever ponder how many chances we have bypass because we let our time escape from our clutches? Taking for example, knowing that we do have important agenda to follow through and yet we let it pass. Or we always choose to do stuff that we feel is an easy way out and enjoy life to the fullest. Either ways, at the end of the day, the common conclusion to this kind of behaviour is "Last minute work"or we keeping telling ourselves "We have no time".

Honestly, I am no exception from the paragraph above and I dare say I fall deeply into this category of people. "Why?", you may ask. I always produce results that you have assigned me to do. On top of that, sometimes I accomplished them so well you think I have done a really great job in preparing them. This may seems like it, but its the surface that you see.

I have the habit to push things to the very end or unless I am reminded to finish them. In many occasions, I choose to do things that I feel enjoyable and leaves all the hard work to the end because I believe "I always have time later." Every time I tell myself this statement, an hour passes and eventually I tell myself "There's always tomorrow." But will there be time tomorrow?

I know the answer perfectly well yet my habit is not willing to take form and change for the better. I am still what I am. So still, so stagnate. Is as if I am literally a very lazy person to start with. I ever question myself why, but some of the answers I gather are not convincing enough, They seem to be excuses rather than statements of conviction. My answers do not substantiate anything. I hate myself so much so I despise myself at times.

Despise, hate, why? To cover up my losses and portray the "my good image", I have to lie and make fake agreements and empty promises to many. I hate lying as it does not inject the real me in your mind. I dislike filtering your thoughts about me and use disgusting words and statements to cover up my wrong doings. Why can't I just start the ball rolling and be enthusiastic with the things around me?

Every time wasted is a chance wasted. Am I really that lazy, or am I indeed busy? In any organisation I begin with, I am always bombarded with jobs, responsibilities and mistakes. It seems like I am ever so capable of accomplishing anything that I have been kindly asked to do. Am I so dumb to say "NO"? Or am I just afraid my rejection to your offer is due to my laziness? Confused, lost, can you give me a direction?

I have come to the point of saturation from assignments, work and work. The flame hinders strongly once inside me dims as time passes. Definition of true enjoyment is no longer in my dictionary. All that is left is pretends. I envious those who are enjoying right now like those behind me playing their games as I type aimlessly here. I am jealous of anyone who still have the engery left to do anything meaningful.

"Every time wasted is a chance wasted" =[

Random

2007-11-17T22:17:00.000+08:00

I'm starting see cobwebs forming around the 4 corners of my blog. And a thick layer of dust that stacks upon the screen. Why is that so? =]

Anyway, I have something in mind to post today, but I'm getting a little lazy. So I'll leave that for later days. Hope you don't mind. Hehe!

But, I'm going to put up some picture that I had done recently. Enjoy =]

The first 2 were for my assignment.

The next one is for SB charity bazaar which is coming this DEC. If you wish to set up a stall to sell perishable and non-perishable items, do sign up at the booth which will be held this week 19th NOV - 23rd DEC 2007.

IF you are the sports person, form a soccer team of 6 players consisting of 2 substitutes and play for charity. Winners of the top 3 teams will be awarded. Come now, 16 places available only!

And I almost forgot to add this very important picture.

Do support my team on the 2nd and 8th Dec 2007, 9am - 12pm at Tiong Bahru Food Center as my team battle it out with another team in Mission 4.

So come down and support us and we'll definitely serve you the best Kopi-Ho(Coffee + Hoclick).

=]

'The five people you meet in Heaven'

2007-10-10T07:54:00.000+08:00

'All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little piecers, beyond repair.

...

Parents rarely let go of their children, so children let go of them.They move on. They move away. The moments that used to define them - a mother' approval, a father's nod - are covered by moments of their own accomplishments. It is not until much later, as the skin sags and the heart weakens, that children understand; their stories, and all their accomplishments, sit atop the stories of their mothers and fathers, stones upon sotnes, beneath the waters of their lives'

Adopted from the book The five people you meet in Heaven written by Mitch Albom

For the past 2 days...

2007-10-07T13:12:00.000+08:00

I attended my first Diploma Plus module last Friday. The module is called Interactive Web Design. And it is indeed INTERACTIVE. The focus of this module is not so much on web design like how the items are aligned, colours used and graphics displayed and so on. But to use JAVASCRIPT codes to create interesting effects that entice and interact with the user. I'll try to put up a few examples here next time.

All in all, I find this module a little tough for me because I'm very bad at codings but this module will help me to enhance my projects that require me to create websites. So I think I'll have fun learning it. Currently, I'm also taking another Diploma Plus module but I'll not write about that now.

Yesterday, was friends gathering day. We went vivo city to catch the movie Day watch. It is a Russian movie but with English subtitles. One thing that I find interesting about the subtitles is that they are animated. Unlike most shows that I watch, the subtitles just stay stagnant. Funny.

Anyways, I was kind of lost in the movie because I didn't catch the previous movie called Night watch. But I enjoyed the movie very much.

A very tiring yet fulfilling day indeed

2007-10-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

I was thinking whether I should blog a story today. But I'm so exhausted that I can't take it anymore. My brain is malfunctioning and I can't seem to think of anything. At this point, I do not even know what I am typing.

Anyway, there was a meeting for the committee today. I'm very happy that most of the things for publication and events have been settled. And I can say that I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful and dedicated vice chair who never fails to bring laughter (HahaHA!) and always getting work done on time. A team of surprising pub people whose ideas have surpassed what I've expected and of course the events spontaneous people who have came out with exciting activities for the participants that day. In a nutshell, I can safely say that Night Expedition will be the GREATEST EVENT OF ALL TIMES. HAHAHAHA!

Back to the point. With all that, I thank you guys for all the effort you have put in and may we work hard for next week's registration.

For those who wishes to join SB Night Expedition 2007/08, the registration booth will be out next Tuesday, 9th Oct 2007 till Friday, 12th Oct 2007. The focus of this event? To scare the Hell out of you! Hehehe! Anyway, do look out for us and participate in this extraordinary event which can only be found in School of Business Club.

Can I still say anymore!? Just come and Register with us!

We finally met

2007-10-03T16:18:00.000+08:00

I had an awesome time yesterday. It was one of the most anticipating and exciting day for me. It has been ages since we last met. All we did yesterday was to eat, laugh and laugh even more. Haha =]. Of course, how can I miss out the exchanging of birthday presents for those birthdays who have passed. I've been waiting for them for centuries. Hope you guys love your gifts.

I did =]

Happy things, Worrying things

2007-10-02T00:48:00.000+08:00

Today was the day SB Amazing Race finally came to a spectacular ending after shedding so much sweat and blood. The event was a success and everyone is HAPPY. As an old saying goes, "If no one dies, the event is a success." As quoted by someone in school. Hehe =]

With all that coming to an end, we embark on a new journey that I promise to be filled with excitement and lots of laughters. Night Expedition is up on the list and I must say I'm very happy to see how enthusiastic the year ones are.

All of you started sharing your ideas and have so voluntarily took up the tasks assigned to you. I'm very honored to be working with you guys and have hence justified that my stay in SBC was indeed the right decision. Thanks to my vice chair, Lishi who has so voluntarily willing to call up the company for me. Don't worry if you see yourself not doing anything much. Night Expedition can be considered as a small scale event so don't worry too much OK =]

If you guys have any problems, do not hesitate to call your teddy bear cum 面包超人 (miang bao chao ren) head, me =] and your very humorous Hehehe Lishi =].

The next thing I should worry about is the approval of the proposal and the advancement from finance. I fear that everything would be delayed and handling of cash can be a big issue.

"How I've wished the planning could have started a bit earlier so that everything can flow with time."

From the bottom of my heart, I thank all you guys in SBC for wanting to make this event a success. Hope that everything goes well from here.

Reminder:
Posters to be sent to me and Lishi by this Wednesday, 5th Oct
T-shirt design, by 4th Oct (if possible) otherwise 5th Oct
Events update by 6th Oct

Don't forget about this coming Thursday's meeting, 6th Oct 2006, 5:15 pm

All the best =]

Just because you took your time

2007-09-29T12:57:00.000+08:00

"I've waited and waited. Hearing footsteps from the far distance, my heart races, hoping it is you. But you have always disappoint me again yet again. Just because you took your time, my time is lost."

"You can apologize a trillion times but that is not what I want. What's the use of saying "Sorry" if you don't mean it. I just want to see this little change in you. Am I asking too much?"

They were the perfect pair who everyone envious. To others, they define the meaning of true love and practice it. Whenever they are together, Monica and Ash carries this aura which is scattered with sweet sugar floss and dyed with the colours of the rainbow. There has never been a time where they will quarrel over personal ideas. All of us thought fate has played its role well by bringing them together to fulfill their happiness. Or have we all mistaken it?

It was 19th October 1986. The sky was clear and the sun was beaming with joy. Everyone could feel the warmth from the sun's rays. Casted by the rays, the beauty of the island was outbursting with colours of happiness and youth. How everyone wish this day will never end. That was how Monica felt.

It was the perfect Saturday, and the day to be out in the sun. Couldn't hesitate any longer, Monica picked up the phone and dialed Ash's number.

"Ring, ring.."
"Hello, Ash here."
"Hi Dear."
"Oh hi Monica"
"I was wondering if you'll be free at 3 for tea?"
"Sure darling, anything will do. Meet you at 3, the old place"
"Alright. See you. Don't be late."
"Sure, lots of love dear."
"Bye"

That was the kind of conversation they had always with one another. So loving and caring. But never will they ever know that will be their last conversation...

The time was 1:40 pm.

Monica was preparing sandwiches for Ash. They were Ash's favourite and the reason for tying them together 5 years ago. That day was like today. The sun was happy and the island was smiling. Monica was having her sandwich for lunch at a park. Suddenly, a bicycle that looks like going to crash came speeding towards Monica's direction. She dropped her lunch and the bike went over it. Shocked by what she saw, she went to the man on the red bike who was Ash at that time. She wanted him to pay and he refused because it was not his fault. Remembering those days, Monica sliced the tomatoes with a smile on her face.

2:00 pm, that's what the clock says. Monica packed her belongings, took the lunch box and headed down to the place where they have agreed to meet. Still carrying the smile on her face, she was excited to see Ash again. His smiles, humor and caring eyes were all she could imagine in her head right now. Half an hour has passed since she took the bus. The clock was ticking. Tck, tck.

Looking at her watch, the time spells 2:40 pm. She was glad she arrived early and looked for the spot which she thinks was the best place to settle on. Laying out the mat and aligning the lunch box, she took out a book to read as she waited for Ash's arrival.

"Why isn't he here yet? Don't tell me he's late again." Monica thought as she looks at her watch that says 3:10 pm.

This wasn't the first time Ash was late for their meeting. It had happened many times and every time is due to either his work or family. Monica understands the kind of life he is going through but how she wished Ash can spend more time with her. She knows that she's asking too much and is selfish of her to think that way. But all she needs is that little bit from him.

3:30 pm. She couldn't wait any longer and was afraid something could have happened to him on the road. Leaving her things behind, she stood up and headed over to the road. Pacing up and down, she looked at the time as every 5 minutes passed.

4:00 pm and Ash was not there yet. Monica was getting really impatient now. She was fuming with anger yet hoping to see him soon. She waited and waited. Hearing footsteps from the far distance, her heat races, hoping it was Ash. Couldn't bottle up her anger anymore, she turned and twisted her ankle. Monica felt a great surge of pain and fell to the ground.

There after, a red car speeding on the road was riding at a distance. Monica saw the car approaching at high speed but was unable to get to her feet. The pain was unbearable and she was bitting on to her lips.

"Am I going to leave you without seeing your face one last time?"

In seconds, the car is coming straight at her.

"Just because you took your time, my time will soon be lost."

Bang

"What was that?" the driver in the red car thought to himself. He was awakened by the hump and was startled for a few seconds. As quick as lightning, he unbuckled himself from the car seat, opened the door and turned to see. In front of him was a woman covered in red with a white blouse. A trail of dark red liquid was seen flowing towards him.

"The back looks familiar." And in a split second, he shouted "Monica... Monica! Is that you Monica?"

Calling her name as he ran towards the motionless body, he picked the lady up and was stunned to see her. Monica was laying on his hands.

"Answer me Monica. Answer me! It can't be you. Why? MONICA!"

Hearing a familiar and wanted voice, Monica opened her tired eyes with the last bit of energy she had left. Seeing who she had always hoped to see, a smile appeared on her face and she raised her hands that was filled with blood, her own blood.

Angry with himself and as tears kept flowing down his cheeks, Ash grabbed Monica's hand and kept asking himself, "Why? Why?..."

Monica looked up and said something that Ash couldn't figure out what it was. All he could felt was the hot breath coming out form Monica's mouth. As she speaks, Ash could feel her drifting away. She was losing conscious and her eyelids were covering half her eyes.

"No Monica. Stay with me. You have too..." Hugging her even closer, afraid she would be stolen away from him.

Monica looked up at him again and as Ash looks into her half closed eyes, the bloody hand that he was holding on to firmly finally gave away. Monica's head dripped and laid on Ash's chest. She still carried the smile she always do. The kind of smile she always shows to everyone even when things seem so unfavourable.

Ash vision became blurred from all the tearing. Still hugging Monica in his hands, he was reluctant to let go. On this quiet road all that was left was not the aura of scattered sugar floss or even the colours of the rainbow. What's left was the soul of a single person, sitting in an area which is pitch black and darken by the colours of loneliness and guilt.

Date, 19th October 1990. Time, 4:10pm.

"The old place where we first met became our departing junction. I saw you made my favourite sandwich, the red and white checked mat and a book with the pages flipping with the wind. It was just like yesterday when we first met."

"Why couldn't you have waited her a bit longer. Or why can't I be a bit earlier? Just because I took my time, this had to happen? Eeither ways, you could have fed me on this mat watching the beautiful sunset. Looking back at this place where I first find happiness has now become a painful memory."

"This place isn't beautiful without you. The scenery sores my eyes as I look across this area. Tears flow down like a stream down my cheeks."

"The sunset is beautiful today. I hope you are with me here. Where are you?"

As Ash said those words, a gust of wind came and he felt he was been watched...

"I was happy to see you one last time...Ash..." Monica's last words...

Am I suppose to feel anything

2007-09-25T23:35:00.000+08:00

"I came to this world not knowing the purpose. You mock me and force me to behave in this manner. I became your subject but will you ever be responsible for my death? In the nether world, I'll never know..."

He was born an average Joe. Skinny, fair and had dark black hair. He wore a pair of spectacles that made him looked like a gig and his high pants was just the thing that we could never compete. His behavior was one that was uniquely irritating. Never failed to make us boil and has always failed to make our day gay, he is none other Anti.

All of us hated him because of his stupidly behaviour. Anti was the subject that bonded us together. He wasn't just any other laughing stock but a fabulous clown that no circuses ever have. We all believe that the reason for his actions was to get our attention, our negative attention. It seems to us that the more we mock him, the more satisfaction he received and the happier we are.

Of course, at most times, he crossed the boundary and make us really mad. We were told to ignore him and leave his matters alone. But this time, things just get better and even better.

Anti was heavily mocked by the class today. He appeared to be different. The usual laughter of his seems to have vanished and he sat there quietly. The atmosphere around him became cold and dark. Being so still, we were not satisfied by his reaction. Sentences of sarcasm and discrimination were thrown at him like a javelin. An ordinary man would have gotten mad and gone berserk. But Anti stood up, walked silently to the doorway and vanished behind the corridor.

No one cared where he went. We just laughed our way back to our seats. Jokes were made about him crying for his mummy in the toilet or sitting at a corner sobbing with no one speak to. Our mouth open with laughter but our eyes saw something heavy dropping from the high floors to the ground. We froze and the room became cold.

The room remained the same. But with no laughter and an empty seat. Anti was absent that day. Will he ever come back to bond us? What should I feel?

The tooth fairy took my tooth away...

2007-04-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

"OUCH!!!"

PAIN was the only thing I felt at the back of my lower right gum for the whole of Saturday's afternoon and night. The pain was so unbearable that I kept tossing around on my bed the night before. (Hey, don't think otherwise.)The feeling was like taking a piece of rock and forcing it into your gum, rubbing and tearing the tissues around it. The result was reddness and swelling of the gum. I could clearly see the swellness of the gum by comparing it with the opposite gum. IT IS HUGE.

To tell you honestly, it took me nearly 15 hours to realise that I had a toothache. You can't balme me for that. Like most people, I always had this idea that it was some ulcer at the gum. Furthermore, I had experieced this kind of pain before and it went off after a day or 2. After reading this, you may want to visit any dentist to do a check up before you feel PAIN.

Went off straight to the dentist at 9 am in the morning. I was told the docotr was book the whole day till 11 pm. But fortunate enough, the nurse was able to slip me into the waiting slot. My turn came and I went in to the check up room.

The sore was caused by the growing wisdom teeth and the constant tearing of the gum by the wisdom teeth located above it. Yellowish fluid can be seen flowing out of the gum when the doc press on it lightly. Yew...

Anyway, both wisdom tooth had to be extracted and the one at the bottom has to be done surgically. The whole process took 40 mins and all I felt was this force acting upon my gum. I couldn't feel any pain because half of my mouth was numbed. All I could sense was the cracking sound of my teeth being extracted out. Imagin a rusty screw being dig out with a pincer. Cool.

As for now, I can't take any hot food and spit. I was told that saliva can help to stop bleeding in my mouth. So don't always try to wash your mouth when your teeth drops or something like that. It is supposed to stop bleeding. Not forgetting to mention, I have to swallow 4 different kinds of tablets prescribed by the doc after each meal. It is so tiring and irritating to take them.

Lost and Direction

2007-04-21T23:15:00.000+08:00

Where?
Click... Click...
What are you staring at? In this dark room with the ceiling light swaying above me.
Click... Click...
Can't see my face can you?
What? Stop playing with the light you say.
No, no you don't wish I do that.
I'm all filthy and messy. Unless you don't mind it.
Click... Click...
Where am I? Away from the light standing right in front of you.
Why did you move back? Well, you didn't mind seeing how scary am I, right?
When and how did I get here? I have always been standing here... Right in... front.. of you.
He..He.. he..

Who?
Now, now... I don't have to feel lonely any more.
I have you to accompany me in this god damn forsaken place.
Come on, let's have fun together... Let's see, what should we start with...
Again. You ask who am I? Ha. Ha. I am you, my dear. Can't you see?
You are I...
Lost in the neither world.

How?
La, la, la...
Sing a song with me partner. Don't be shy. Ha, ha.
It's too quiet here and it has always been since the day they brought me here.
They created me and I became their guinea pig. An experiment to play with.
Threw into a maze. They told me to choose my path and shut that metal door with a BANG!.
Laying on that bloody soggy ground. Helpless and tired.
Forcing myself up, the air was moist and thick.
Even till now, I still remember the smell of dried blood and rotten corpses.
Surrounded with stairs, looking parallel, linked and reflected at one another.
I look up, confused, dizzy and felt like puking.
Say, you should know how it feels. You were there.. Ha, ha... Unlucky you.

I took the first step up the stairs.
With each step I took, I bear the hope to see that freaking glimpse of light.
But NO. Each door that I open, I see S. T. A. I. R. S. MORE BLOODY STAIRS.
I didn't give up. I carried on bearing with this single pathetic life of mine.
You asked how long I was kept in there? He, he...
Honestly, I didn't know. In there, time freezes and I see no clicking.
I fking cried for directions. Asked for at least some hints and resources to replenish my energy.
But there was absolutely no answer.
I wasted my energy cursing and swearing the beasts who brought me here.
Why did I have to go through this? Of all people, why me?
You bloody son of the bitches! Don't you know that I can feel?
And right now, PAIN is the ONLY thing I can feel and HATRED is the thing I can fking express to you, my CREATORS or should I say FIENDS.

He, he..
How lovely I put it. Ha, ha... FIENDS! Ha,ha...
The next thing I knew, I was here. Like you. Ha, ha..
All trapped. So lonely. In this cold world where no one will ever know your existence for the rest of YOUR LIFE...

Why?
Don't cry. You still have me. I'll be your company.
I'll show you the world of hatred and pain.
I teach you to detest those who think we are weak.
I teach you crafts that enable you to be the MASTER of the world.
Use what I have taught you on to the FIENDS out there who played on us.
Show them we are not puppets who they can dispose as and when they freaking like.
What? You don't want? You are scared. You want to go home?
Ha. HA! HA! HA! There's no HOME for you, dear.
There's only burning HELL.
Be strong my lovely sister. For all you have left now is ME!

When?
We'll start today and we'll start now.
In this dark, cold and lonely room. Just you and me, my sister.
Take my hand. Follow me into this portal where you learn to HATE and instill PAIN into others.
Do believe that we are not alone. For I believe there are more to come.
Right?
You. Yes, you.
Together with my sister, we'll meet you. Soon...

Mix

2007-04-20T21:56:00.000+08:00

Involvement
You threw yourself into the quicksand!
Took the dare and now you're complaining?
Shut that pathetic face of yours.
No one is going to care or help you.
Are you shouting? What is it?
"HELP!" you say. But who can hear you?

ill
The war is over.
The enemy's white flag swayed high.
Hoping for a better future.
Yet suffering with its aftermath
Here, feeling pain is not an option.

Tired
Do this and that and that and this.
You're so good and I should applaud you.
Feeling breathless?
No, you can't stop.
You are good at this.
Carry on.
Don't disappoint me.
Go on...

Fortune
Pile of gold you see.
Pile of mud I see.
Branded clothes you wear.
Ragged clothes I wear.
Your watch spells accessory.
My shadow spells time.
You say I'm rich.
I say make me itch.

I owe you an apology

2007-03-10T22:50:00.000+08:00

I owe all my good friends an apology for suggesting an outing, but in turn was cancelled at the very last moment. I apologise for not informing you guys earlier.

I just hope everyone understands that it is not that we don't care and you should know we always do.

I wish for a day to come when I would be the one organising an outing for you guys, but it seems that maybe I'm not meant to be...

Another encounter, this time is a good one

2007-02-26T22:38:00.000+08:00

Guess who I met today? Jasilan aka J ("I hope I spelt his name correctly"). He is my senior from secondary school and was the vice-head prefect back then. Like me. But a lot more smarter. He is studying medicine in NUS now.

At the age of 8 he dreamed to be a doctor to save peoples' lives. That's what he said in the interview when he was asked why did he want to be a doctor.

Like me, he misses the moments he had with all his friends in secondary school and told me how he hated that school when he was in sec 1 and shared many other interesting events that happened during those days. He is so proud of his red tie (prefect tie) and school uniform and said the design that I had was ugly. I have to totally agree. Now it has gotten even "BETTER".

Both of us shared our experiences in poly and uni and we were telling one another how difficult it is to adapt to a new environment that embeds intense competition and drives in the feeling of being an outcast from a group. It just feels so depressing and hurtful...

Our conversation also went on to award for the best method of leaving earth and J says that the best way to have a quick exit is to get yourselves exploded. The result is instance and the process is painless. But I say the best way is to inject some kind of medicine into your body where you feel no pain and exit the world silently ("I think there's a word for it... What is it?"). At least you still have the body there.

All the cracking of jokes had to come to an end after a 3 hour long conversation.

It is indeed wonderful to see an old friend and enjoyable to chat with him. Take care and wishing you a smooth journey ahead.

An interesting encounter

2007-02-25T23:14:00.000+08:00

I was supposed to blog this yesterday but due to the long post I had, I decided to have it posted today.

Yesterday, I was at a particular gym and I happen to see someone who any of my secondary friends will expect to see in a GYM. This guy is no other than the guy from the TOAD CHOIR and the DRAMA CLUB. I think you know who I'm referring to. If not, he's from Thailand. Yup yup, you know who is it by now.

I was looking for a place to place my bag and I saw him skipping towards my direction, swinging his towel and smiling really brightly. Did I mention the words skipping, swinging and smiling? When he saw me, he turned and ran back to his other 3 friends ("I think") and pretended that he didn't see me. I thought I should be the one dodging and hiding in the toilet. But I couldn't care less and went on to do my run.

I was on the running track for 20 minutes while he and his friends were CHATTING at the station behind me for the same amount of time. "Do you guys come here to CHAT or are you CHATTING about SOMETHING ELSE? Hmmm?" I thought to myself. Anyway, I kind of like overheard their conversation while I was doing the chest press ("Is that what you call it?").

His friend asked, "Which station do you want to try ah?"

At this point, he stood in front of me at an angle, faced his back towards me and I was looking everywhere except his direction.

"That one" he replied. (The one I'm using)

"So you know the big big musical instrument? The girl was playing? I want to play that one." His friend said.

He nodded his head.

His friend went on and asked, "When you return Thailand after the O levels, what instrument do you want to learn? I love violin, you know."

In my own opinion, they have entered the gym to do some SIGHT SEEING or thinking that DUMBBELLS are instruments that can be played. They stayed no longer than an hour and left the place. I was blessed.

What an ENCOUNTER!? I hope that I don't see him again.

Anyway, today was a really busy day. I work up at 1 in the afternoon thinking that there was nothing for me to rush but only to realise that there are plenty of things for me to do. I had to edit the food quotation for FOC and design the FOP t-shirt. The deigning part itself took up my entire afternoon. How I wish I have the brain of a brilliant artist to come up with the design.

These are what I did... The pictures below will be printed small on either the front or back of the shirt. The shirt is black based.

Picture no.1

Picture no.2

Picture no.3

I hope to hear some comments from you and do vote for your favourite design. Thanks.

Click To top... In case it gets to lengthy, this will bring you to the top.

Nice to see YA again

2007-02-24T22:00:00.000+08:00

As you can see, I've changed the layout of my blog again. This time I've saved you the trouble of having to navigate around my blog. And I have added a wish list above the archives and will be putting up a photo gallery as well. Everything you need to see is staring right in your face. Like that.

If you are using Morzilla to view my page, you will realize that most of my sentnces are underlined. I do not know why and I didn't add that on purpose. If you are using IE 7, I think it should be ok. IE 6 is the BEST. Did I mention the word BEST?

I had the intention to blog 2 days ago, but my itchy fingers got the head of me. Instead of blogging, I went to, well, change the skin and everything and, Hmmm..., decided not to blog because I had a hard time editing the layout.

Anyway it has been a really long time since I met any of my secondary buddies. Man, Remiel, Marcus, Roy and of course Diva. And all my poly friends. AND ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE READING THIS BLOG.Hope all of you are doing well somewhere. Oops, almost forgot.

Here's wishing you a really Happy Chinese New Year and may all your wishes come true. I really hope my does.

My Chinese New Year went pretty silent this year. Not much of visiting as compared to last year. Oh well. At least I did get to celebrate a little.

I know you will be dying to know what I've been up these days, months. You must know that my computer keeps freezing. In another words, at this very moment as I am typing this blog, my comp freezes and nothing will be working as if it has shut down. Then I'll have to restart my comp and realize that all the things that I've typed so far have disintegrated. Now how does that sound like to you? Fun? It doesn't happen all the time but it can be really irritating if you know what I mean. I've to save every time I changed something in my project, report and even editing the layout of this blog. So this explains why I need a new comp or laptop. I am not being spoilt.

School has been pretty good so far. I'm waiting for my results which will be released on the 7th of March. Hope I do well. It's my holidays now. a very busy one in fact. I need to do preparation for Freshmen Orientation Camp (FOC) and Freshmen Orientation Programme (FOP). FOC is a camp for students in year 1 to mingle around. And FOP is an event where year 1 students get to play, know their classmates and school and do Flag Day. Lots of things to be done, yet so little time. Tomorrow will be a busy day for me. Work after work after work. It's better than doing nothing. (Note: If I have a CCA which I'm committed to, maybe I can be spared from all these.) Because I do not have a CCA I decided to plunge myself into helping out these events.

On top of that, I have to do self study during the holidays. Why? I participated in the World Skills Competition which is held I don't know, every 3 years? Anyway, it is something like the Olympics competition but it doesn't only drain you physically but mentally as well. The competition will be first held in Singapore where the different Polytechnics and ITE will be competing and only the best 3 or 6 will be sent to compete overseas with foreign competitors. If you do get yourself into the top 3 in the finals, you earn big bucks and a medal and as you return back home, you'll receive a warm welcome from someone who is important to our country ("I guess"). But all these have a price to pay. I have to burn my holidays and attend extra classes as part of my GEMS (extra modules). Oh well, for the glory of myself and of course the school, I'll do my best by burning every drop of oil I have to last the midnights and get tired and really exhausted until I............................................................................................ live to achieve my goals. Yup Yup. Wish me all the best.

So, that's all for today. Hope to see ya months later. Kidding. I'll try to blog as much. My life is really boring you know.

Click To top... In case it gets to lengthy, this will bring you to the top.

Memories

2006-12-31T02:29:00.000+08:00

memories are costly.
memories are priceless.
memories do not last.
memories do have values.
memories can be negative.
memories can be positive.
memories can make one weaker.
memories can make one stronger.
memories bring you the virtual world.
memories bring you the improvised world.

you choose what you want to see in your memories.

I read one of my friends' blog today and his post seems to reflect the kind of experience I had during his time. It just brings back memories of the time when the O level results were released.
The sun was smiling and the sky was happy.

That day could be the most beautiful day and yet it could also be one of the most darkest day of someone's life.

All dressed up and ready to go, my heart was beating normally. I wasn't excited at all neither was I feeling any sense of enjoyment. I stayed calm and easy but deep inside me, somewhere I felt dreadful. "Is something going to happen?" I asked myself.

Through the gate the car passed, I remained the same with neither excitement nor anxiety. Thinking it was due to the sleepless nights, I went to the hall with a smile forced onto my face.

Students were chatting along happily as they have missed each other for the whole 3 months. Like me, they were happy to see their old schoolmates. But unlike me, they seem joyful as they await the next big thing.

I looked at the teachers walking in and out of the office. I scanned the environment I was in. There were no smiles or congratulation from the teachers I know. Everyone kept themselves away from the students. This strange feeling I had grew stronger and I knew something unexpected is going to happen. But what was it?

Walking to the door on my way into the hall, I saw a teacher who I knew. He was warm and all kind, but he just showed me a comfort smile as I said "Hi." What has happened?

Ms. Cheng was the speaker for that day. She was one of the best teachers I ever met. She kept focusing and repeating this phrase "This is not the end. Remember." Whenever she says that phrase I had the feeling she was directing it to me. But why?

From that point on, I have forseen the outcome of my results. I failed English with a 7 and left the hall silently on that day.

The memory I had then were the happy faces of the students. Everyone was congratulating one another and some were even jumping in joy. I felt lost then and all I wanted to do was to head back home.

I met my parents in the car and felt reluctant and ashamed to hand them my results. This feeling was similar to the one I had when I got my PSLE results. Knowing that I was posted to the Normal Academic stream, I was devastated and embarrassed to call my mum.

As I handed them the results, I hold back my tears and said very proudly "I got a 7 for English." Like always, my parents knew I was never academically strong and was happy that I was applicable to enter into a Polytechnic.

"I never wanted you to go to a JC. I am happy that you can go to a poly. You did your best." my mum replied.

Deep in her heart, I knew my mum had pinned high hopes on me into getting into a Junior College. Likewise, I had also set myself prepared to enter into a JC and did really well for all my subjects. But this dream was crashed by a piece of paper that I didn't do well.

On the way home in the car, I appeared to be normal holding back the tears. Silence befalls in the car. No one said anything and no one ask anything. I look out the window seeing the happy faces of the students on the street. Why can't I be like them?

Upon reaching home, I closed the door behind me and my vision became blur. I knew what had happened and sat there sobbing. "Why am I so stupid?" I asked myself.

Night came and it was bedtime. I had a chat with my parents and went to bed shortly. As I closed my eyes, I felt my cheeks getting wet. I asked myself, "Why am I so stupid?"

My friend called me the next day and asked how I was doing. He seems aware of the situation and said the teachers were looking for me yesterday. My mouth trembled and I said "I'm ok." As soon as the conversation ended, I put down the phone and my eyes felt damped. I asked myself, "Why am I so stupid?"

A day with lots of questions

2006-12-29T23:30:00.000+08:00

time flies with nothing to worry.

time flies with nothing to miss.

time flies with nothing to feel.

time flies with nothing to leave behind.

But as time flies we have nothing to keep that time alive.

Cherish what you have and do not miss the time that was once alive.

Went to the usual place at Macs located near Raffles station to discuss on my FOM project. We only have 1 week left to complete it and time is running short. Pray that we'll be able to accomplish it in time. GO! GO! GO!

Nothing really happen today. I had BBQ Chicken for dinner at Carls Junior located at Plaza Sing. The last when I had a meal there was like 2 to 3 years ago. The meal is simply fulfilling.

Oh ya. When I was on my way entering Plaza Sing from Dhooby Ghaut station, a girl approached me and asked "Are you a student?" (Don't bother reading this if you don't have time. I just wanted my blog to look longer.)

I went like, "Ya..."

"Which school?"

"Singapore Poly."

"Which year?" she asked.

And at that point I was wondering what is she going to sell? Maybe she's giving away some free laptop or something that I could use in school. Or she has something else in mind...?

"Year 1" I replied.

"Do you work part time? How much do you save per month?"

Hey lady, I don't really know you and why do you want to know how much I saved per month?

"Do you save up to 50 or hundred per month?"

Even if I do have savings why should I be telling you?

"No and about there I guess..."

At this point she handed me a pen and I was thinking is this some kind of a free gift for answering all her mysterious questions?

"Can you do a survey form for me?"

Finally, she came to the point.

"Ya, sure."

I sat down and did the survey. There were other people sitting around circular tables with I believe to be the girl's colleagues as well. The people were explaining things that I couldn't hear. That reminds me, why couldn't I hear anything at that point of time?

"Are you not from local?"

And I went like, "Don't I look like one?"

"No lah" (She means you look local)

Then why did you ask?

"Which course are you in?" she continued asking.

"Business Information Technology."

I wanted to say DBIT but I was afraid she will not know what is it.

"BIT" she said.

So she knew after all. I reckon she's a poly graduate or student.

And she asked me questions again. "Why choose Singapore Poly?"

"Where do you live? How long is the journey? Is is tiring?"

Hey sister, I don't really know what your motive is but can you allow me to complete the survey first so that I can leave here as quickly as possible.

"Seragoon. 40 minutes to an hour. No!"

"How old are you?"

"18"

"Your brother?"

Why do you want to know?

"19"

I couldn't remeber how old my brother was. He should be 2 years older than me but I keep thinking is one year older. Do you want to know my parents age too?

"Your birthday falls on the same day as my friend."

I should be happy for you...

"Guo Hua, my name is pei feng and I'm here to discuss with you about this savings scheme that we have. Let me ask you, if some one has cash, where will he keep his cash for the longest period?"

Are you testing my intelligence?

"The bank..."

"As you know the bank will only give you an interest rate of ..."

"0.02 % per month"

"No, 0.25% a year. And that is 0.02% per month. And you are right."

Please get your facts right.

"Have you heard about this scheme before?"

"Yes.The one from AIA."

"Oh. So why didn't you sign up?"

Because I don't see the need to.

"Because I was in a rush at that point of time and I missed it."

"Can you make independent decision?"

Of course most of you will go like "Yes I can". But my advice to you is to say...

"I normally have to discuss things with my parents first."

You may call me dumbfolded, but the result was

"What's my name?"

I was trying to recall and she bark in and asked

"What's my name?"

"Pei.....(thinking real hard) feng."

"Ya, remember it and I'll be calling you soon about your decision to sign up for our scheme.My name is Pei Feng."

So,you want me to remember your name or the scheme? I will choose the scheme.

And I left without any free gift and laptop.

A good day to start with

2006-12-28T21:49:00.000+08:00

the sky looks gloomily

and the soil is soggy

Looking out the window we see that it is raining again. My vacation has rather being wet and slippery. I’m into my second week of vacation and one more week to go. Time is running short…

What have you been up to? you ask.

I know I’ve not been blogging for a very long time. The sudden mood to blog today was due to the weather. It is not that I’m feeling down or anything. I just have this urge to share something and I thought of blogging.

My Vacation. What have I done?

The happiest moment of my vacation was when I had lunch with my secondary school friends and watched the movie, Eragon with them. Those were the best moment.

a big thanks to all of you. May the New Year bring you lot of joys…

I’ve been visiting the swimming pool lately. This is a promise I make to myself to visit the pool as least once a week. The reason is of course to keep my mind active, but the primary reason is keep myself calm. With all the assignments and projects flooding into my mind, it’s time I ought to do something that I like and beneficial to me.

just last week I was at the pool for 6 hours and swam even though it was raining

Even though it is the VACATION, poly students are not spared from assignments and projects. I’ve two final semester projects now and they each carry a rather high percentage of my total marks. Hope that my group can score really high in them.

As soon as the break is over, I’ll be having my Accounting CA2. This is the module that I dislike the most, but is the module that I’ve to do well in. Oh well, wish me lots of luck.

before the vacation started, all my lecturers wished us HAPPY VACATION. How happy can this vacation be?

My parents and I visited COURTS the one in Tampines just 2 days ago. The building consists of 3 levels with a canteen at the second level. I was asked to get a flat screen monitor for my computer as my parents wanted my study table to look spacious… I hope you got one too. You know who I’m referring too.

We went over to Pakway Parade as well. It’s been a really long time since I last shopped there.

you should try the food that the canteen in COURTS sells. The food is splendidly disgusting. I had chicken curry and it tasted like water plus salt and a little spice added into it. The chicken tasted as if it was kept in the fridge for ages

This year’s Christmas is rather quiet and dead. Normally when such an occasion arises, I’ll be hearing people shouting MERRY CHRISTMAS at the top of their voices around my block. But this year, it seems like I’ve entered the dead street. If any teacher ever wants pin drop silence, they should come down here and have it.

here’s wishing everyone Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

These are the wonderful events that happened. Other than these, I’ve been lazing at home and doing my projects.

That’s all.

Have to get working now.

See ya soon.

Nice to see ya

2006-12-10T22:56:00.000+08:00

It's been a very long long time again.

I've been really busy these 2 months. Assignments and projects just keep piling up one after another. Switching on my computer to finish up my assignments everyday has become my daily routine. It is the first 'mission' that I've to do to complete my 'task'.

Anyway, a few friends and I are embarking on this charity project called Project Vibrant Colour (PVC). Bascially we've already choose the beneficiary that we will be committeed to until next February.

During this period, I would ask all my freinds and readers of this blog to aid me in this project by collecting as many used and unused pens as possible. My group is targeting a toatl of 10,000 pens, which each pen will contirbute 50 cents to the beneficiary that we are helping. Please do give us your support and leava a tag or contact me when you wish to make any contribution.

Thank You so much!
A million thanks!

I wonder

2006-11-08T01:08:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder...

what i'm waiting for?
whehter I'm truly your good friend after all?
am I the cause of your misery?
will it be better if I keep a low profile?
my presence will ever affect you?
who truly cares and who 'truly' don't?
am I causing you too much trouble?
if i should let it go?
do you hate me for who i am or you assume i pretend to be?
what i'm doing is totally redundant?
should i be what i am meant be?
should i continue a loner's life?
whether i've doubts in my own capability?
if i'm asking too mush from anyone of you?
if i'm really a person who is hard to approach?
what's bothering me?
if it was a mistake that we have met?
why do you keep doing things that you don't want to?
if you ever turst me that much ever more?
what if we don't talk anymore?
when will be the day when you'll stop throwing your nonsense at me?
maybe i'm not a good friend to be after all.

... maybe i should just let it go....

Back from the Dead

2006-08-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

"Back from the DEAD"

2 months 7 days passed,
67 days passed,
1608 hours passed,
96480 minutes passed,
5788800 seconds have passed... ever since from the last post.

Those were my most fearful and exhausting period of time. Projects, assignments, tests and exams flooded my time for freedom and my beauty sleep. Everything seems to be happening one after the other and everyday seems like a repetion of the day before. Is as if time is duplicating itself...

Everyone always says that time will never wait for you and will not ever turn around for you. But have you seen time duplicating itself of the past events as if it is trying to tell you something. From what I see is that time is trying to convince me to have a change of events or actions that I've been doing all this time.

When I say events or actions, they refer to bad habits or behaviors that ones possesses. I believe everyone do contain at least one bad habit or behavior inside you. No one is born perfect and pure like the fall of snow from the sky. Even if you do believe that you're that purest snow don't forget that that purest snow will not always be entirely white. That brown patch which you see somewhere in or on the snow is the flaw of that pure and white snow. And that brown patch refers to our bad habit and behavior that has been built because of psychological disorder (emotions and thoughts : jealously, terrified to be open) and the wrong perception (how our surroundings have affected us) that we make. With the rapid changes to our surroundings and the increase for competitiveness in this world, do you still believe that you and I are flawless beings?

Having that in mind, we ask ourselves some of these questions:
Have you ever come to a point that everyone thinks that you're the flawless person who seems capable of achieving results close to perfect?
If you do, do you like it? Why?
How do you counter this so call problem to you?

I'll leave these questions to you. My answers will be posted in my next blog...

Until then, see ya!

It's been a long time

2006-07-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

"It's been a long time"

I'll be getting into this habit of having the title of my post for the day to be written at the top of my post. I feel comfortable to have the topic viewed before you guys start reading the rest of the story. So, don't take those quotes up there as part of my post.

It's been a long time...
Since the day I was born,
where the world seems so alien to me.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Where am I?"
"What I'm here for?"

It's been a long time
Since I called my parents "mum" and "dad" for the first time
looking at how happy they were.
But have I ever asked myself,
"What are they happy about?"
"How can I repay the love they have showered upon me?"

It's been a long time
Since the day I started my education,
where I learnt to speak and write.
But have I ever asked myself,
"What am I learning this for?"

It's been a long time
Since I met my first friend,
who I thought will be my best pal.
But have I ever asked myself,
"What has happened to him now?"
"Where is he or who is he?"

It's been a long time
Since I first fought with my friend
and promised that it'll never happen again.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Did I live up to my promise?"
"Was there a need to fight?"

It's been a long time
Since I started my first acquired bad habit
which no one in this world can stand except me.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Do I want to change?"
"Where did I learn this from?"

It's been a long time
Since I started doing good things
which I thought everyone would like.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Who am I doing it for?"
"Did I do these things out of love and care?"

It's been a long time
Since I know how to differentiate what's right or wrong
which I thought I'm always right.
But have I ever asked myself,
"How right am I?"
"Can I ever be wronged?"

It's been a long time
Since I first quarreled with my parents
shouting and swearing at them.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Who am I to scream at them?"
"What have I done to be given the credit to treat them like this?"

It's been a long time
Since I've grown and viewed the world in my eyes
looking at how sucky this world is.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Aren't there any good stuff that I like about this world?"

It's been a long time
Since I dated my first love
who I thought will my life long partner.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Am I ready to start this relationship?"

It's been a long time
Since I became the topic of my school
where comments and compliments are being passed around.
But have I ever asked myself,
"What exactly have started all these?"
"Is this all part of Karma?"
"Did I start all these?"

It's been a long time
Since I first laugh out loud
where the world seems so bright and shiny.
But have I ever asked myself,
"What is joy?"
"What brings joy?"

It's been a long time
Since I had my first broke up
where I feel so depressed and hurt deep within me.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Am I to be blamed?"

It's been a long time
Since I tasted jealously
which boils me up and reveals the evil within me.
But have I ever asked myself.
"What am I jealous about?"
"Can't I be as good as him?"

It's been a long time
Since I looked down at myself
feeling that the world is so huge and complex.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Are my weaknesses the obstacles that block my way to success?"
"Is being perfect really the key to stand out in this world?"

It's been so long
Since I've asked myself so many questions
which I can't seem to find the answers.
But have I ever asked myself,
"Could the answer be just standing right in front of me?"
"Am I the answer?"

What have been said and written up there are some of the things that I have heard from my friends and seen in their blogs. I hope you will understand the deeper meaning behind everything.

Hope to see you smiling everyday. Be happy

So little time to rest

2006-07-04T21:39:00.000+08:00

I've been busy with my 2 projects lately. It was as if I was running a marathon that has been held for days. The past few days were a torture to me. I had 3 to 4 hours of sleep each day, plus having to bear with lectures and tutorials that were held in the day.

I'm tired, exhausted and I want to sleep so badly.
I'm close to falling and lying on my bed to sleep.
I'm envious of those who could rest and sleep peacefully.

But...

I'm thankful to those who have followed me through this terrible moment.
I'm glad that I have met these people who I'll always remember.
I'm jumping with joy that we have break through this horrible period of time.

Sigh...

This is just close to the end.
We still have a long way before it ends.
How long do we have to wait till it ends?

But...

Always remember that we are there for you.
For we bring light into your darkest moments,
and laughters when we see you sob.

Finally,

We'll press on together till the end.
And I hope that you'll remain strong.
Friends forever.

Egg Bomb

2006-06-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

School has been pretty interesting today, especially during MOB.

Well, today is the starting of our MOB PBL assignment. PBL refers to Problem Based Learning. It is a group work where each group is given the same problem or assignment to ponder and do. After the assignment, we have to reflect on what we did and apply our knowledge in management and organization behavior.

Our job today was to a Straw Nest. This nest will hold and our egg which will be dropped from the 6th floor.

The materials given to us were 1 balloon, 3 rubber bands, 10 straws, an egg, 5 pieces of 1 foot long masking tape and 2 paper napkins.

Like any other ordinary people will do, we started to wrap the egg with the straws we had.
Next, we wrap the egg and the straws with the paper napkins.
Follow by wrapping the item with the leftover straws.
The blown up the balloon was attached to the egg using rubber bands.

We adopted the concept of a hot air balloon and created our Straw Nest. The other 2 groups in my class also used that concept and created their Straw Nest. Only for 1 group had their egg stuffed into the blown up balloon. It is really amazing how they did it, but they did it anyway.

So, up up we go the the 6th floor and down down our eggs fell. The result, my egg broke. the egg in the balloon broke as well. The other 2 survived through. Well, we had fun.... Haha!

It's getting late now. I've to do compiling for my project.
See ya!

A whole list of events

2006-06-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

The past few days have really been hectic. I had projects to do that are due next week, studying my mid term tests and my mid term tests were on for the past two days. Days went by without a single day working, studying and mugging. Of course, I know this is not a very valid reason for me not to blog but... I'm really SORRY. :)

So, I'll try my best to explain to you in very short paragraph what happened since the last I blog....

23rd June 2006

The day kicks off with me staring at my books and notes. I'll be having my mid term tests next week. Tuesday will be Mathematics paper and on Wednesday I'll be having IEB and JAVA papers. However, I just can't seem to concentrate. No matter how hard I force myself to study, nothing gets into my head. What am I to do? Should I rest today?

I did go back to school today to discuss one of my projects with my group members. And I was really surprised when a group of friends actually bought a bag as my birthday present. I didn't expect such an expensive gift from them since we only know each other for 2 months. It was a le coq sportif bag. You know the Chicken bag... Yup yup that one.

Hai, I really want to thank those who have bought the bag for me and I'm really thankful that I've such great friends like you.

So, today is really unproductive, but quite surprising. I hope to see a better tomorrow...

24th June 2006

Went over to CJC to catch Emmanuel's church choir concert. You want comments about the concert? Well, all I can say is that it went pretty well. I believe the choir is able to put up a better performance tonight. Anyway, I enjoyed the performance and I believe those who went would have enjoyed it as well. Just remember to be happy.

25th June 2006

2 more days and my big day is coming. Am I anticipating anything surprising to happen? Nah. All these years, big day celebration has always been a treat to some expensive restaurant. Well, as my big day falls during school day, my family decided to have this treat today. Want to know where we went? The Mongolia Buffet restaurant at Park Mall.

The food there is simply delicious and fantastic. You really have to try out the buffet there. It is simply irresistible. You will never feel shy to have another plate of food. Why? Because everyone there can't seem to stop themselves from tasting every dish that they have. Well, another reason is because of the price that you have to pay. The buffet was $32.00 ++ for each person. So, before you plan to eat there, remember to prepare cash.

The day ended filling and satisfying.

26th June 2006

The day where I work and study like mad for my Maths paper tomorrow. A Maths paper on my big day. How much worst can it get? Anyway, back to studying. Will chat soon.

Bye

27th June 2006

My birthday is here and I've a Maths paper to worry about. Furthermore, two more papers are coming tomorrow. This is just a day for me to worry and study till late night.

"Happy Birthday to me. Your present for this year is books, papers and notes. Study, Study and study."

Ignore that.

I just want to thank all of your greetings and well wishes.

Well, the Maths paper went pretty well. I hope to be able to do well.
Wish me all the best, yeah.

28th June 2006

I had my two papers today. It went pretty alright, I think. Anyway, I'm really happy that the mid term test is finally over.

Hooray!!! So happy, feel like flying...

But, I still have 2 more projects to finish and is due next week. Oh my God!!! I bet the next few days will be equally busy and really worrying. But, don't worry, I'll try to blog... I hope.

End here. See ya.

29th June 2006

Lessons started proper today. Had two modules and I went over to the school Guild House to play arcade. The games there were really boring. Well, at least they have pool tables for us to enjoy.

Have to do my project now... Talking to Emma too.

See ya!!! :)

feeling really happy

2006-06-22T20:59:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling happy and comfortable today.
Though I have much to do, but I can't seem to stop feeling so light.
Maybe there's something wrong with me.
Or maybe I finally know what I really want. I guess...

All these years,
after all these years,
I finally... After all these years,
I can feel myself. Haha!!!

I hope that you're feeling really happy too.
Like I am. (For the strangest reason that I don't know why)
Maybe the big day is coming.
But this big day always seem so simple.

It is so simple that I actually like it.
Peace and quiet is what I always adore most.
Sometimes it'll bring back memories that carry tears,
but these memories don't always have to be bad.

So be really happy, and be happy.

A great sharing session

2006-06-17T22:00:00.000+08:00

Went out with the old gang today. I mean my pals from secondary school. I'm always happy to see them because this shows that we are keen in maintaining our friendship well. I hope...

We had a wonderful lunch at Sake Sushi near Taka. During lunch, Emmanuel who's back from London was bragging on about his experiences there. The one thing that I can remember very clearly was this theater play that he was watching in London. The play was titled " The women in black". After hearing what he said, I so wanna watch it myself. By the way, it is a horror play. But who cares, I so want to watch it. Of course, not forgetting about the goats which went up hill and...

After lunch, we went to catch the movie "Silent hill". If you think that is a horror movie, you are kind of correct but not very right. I would say the movie is not very appetizing. If you want to know what I mean, go catch it. The movie is great.

As soon as the show ended, Sivadass, Emmanuel and I headed home. On the way, Sivadass and I took a stroll around the estates and we shared many things about our lives and many other meaningful topics. Sometimes I really wonder why some people always have this wrong perception about him.

Do we want to be the person we want to be? Or do we have to be the person the society want us to be?

Are we given the choice to choose between this two options? Or do we have to continue deceiving others and ourselves?

Want to see these places?

2006-06-15T21:21:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wanted to see some of these places yourself?

Cherry Blossoms Japan

Tundra

Autumn in Germany

The beauty of Antarctica

Scenery of Europe

German's New Swan Castle

View of Holland

Beauty of Tibet

Disney Castle

Golden Maple Leaf

Edge of Glacier

Lavender Farm and Tree

Lavender Farm

Run, run, run

2006-06-12T22:26:00.000+08:00

"Run, run ,run"

As soon as I've handed in my assignment, I went over to Serangoon Stadium to do my runs. Never did I expect to feel so light and relax after running rounds around the stadium. Did some physical exercises as well. The feeling is great.

I think I'll continue what I've started. I mean to exercise and do my runs. Since it's my holidays right now, I might as well make full use of it. Wish me all the best.

The next 2 weeks will be project weeks. I hope that I'll be able to complete both projects in time. May the heavens up there give me more time or stop time. Haha!!!!

Hmmm... I've this feeling that many people that I know are rather busy these days.

Well, most of them are rushing through their studies as the exams draw nearer each day.

Some are really busy with their school stuff because this is their first year.

Of course, there are those who are really into studies and their on it 24/7.

Which ever it is, if you ever need any motivation to spur you going, Homer Simpson will be around to help you. Because he says

Have a great week ahead!!!!!!

A very bad habit that causes me sleepless nights

2006-06-12T03:30:00.000+08:00

"A very bad habit that causes me sleepless nights"

I have a habit of doing things at night. And I mean late night. I don't know why but my brain keeps telling me that I'll have time to complete my assignements at night even if it means starting at 10 pm.

So here I am rushing through my project at 3 am in the morning. How great is that?

Anyway, after waiting for a very long time, I finally manage to catch X men 2 yesterday on Channel 5. I did watch the movie the last time, but the image was just terrible. Everything seems dark and I've to figure out who is talking to who by listening to their voices. The best part was that I've to imagine the plot and settings myself. Are they in the forest, mansion or somewhere near the ocean?

Will be going back to school at 11 am later to hand in this assignment. I've planned to go for a run later. Wish me all the best.

See ya.

A family outing

2006-06-10T23:16:00.000+08:00

"A family outing"

Today is Family outing day. I always feel happy when such a day comes. Why? Because such an occasion only occurs once in a blue moon (you can guess how long that is).

Anyway, my brothers and I went to Junction 8 to catch a movie, X men The Last Stand. Although I had already watched the movie with my friends, I see no harm watching the movie again with my brothers. About the show? I don't think I would want to comment on it anymore because I did that in my previous post.

After that, we headed towards West Coast to have our dinner in this BBQ Korea Restaurant.
We had to wait for at least an hour before we could get a table for us to sine in.
It was worth waiting for because the food there was marvellously delicious.

They had my favourite vegetables served on my table. All kinds of them. I just love eating vegetables. There was also a bowl of Ginseng chicken soup that tasted heavenly.

Followed by a bowl of fungus that were barbecued and served to us. Oh my goodness, you can never imagine the wonderful taste of these funguses when they are dipped into this kind of chilli sauce. The taste and the fragrance swirling in your mouth just can't stop you from having more.

And the meats that were barbecued as well felt so tender and soft to the point that it just melts in your mouth. There was not even a squirt of oil as you chewed onto the meat. This shows that is it healthy.

Anyway, the dinner ended off with a bowl of cold, sour, sweet and pepperish kind of drink. I don't know what is that, but my parents said that it is good for digestion and cooling down of the body.

After that wonderful dinner, we headed home and slept soundly.

End of e-learning

2006-06-09T23:18:00.000+08:00

Today is the END of E-LEARNING!!!!
So happy.

Had spent the day staying at home.
Wanted to spend the last day of e-learning at home.
Stared at the computer for hours.
Helped my friend to complete her assignment.
[Don't take it too hard on yourself. It's ok.]
It took hours because the server was jammed.
So many people doing their last minute work.
Expected... Haha!!!

Nothing much to say...
Another 2 more weeks of project to complete.
Wish me all the best.

Come on, 1 more day to go

2006-06-08T23:11:00.000+08:00

"Come on, 1 more day to go before the end of e-learning week."

I did Java quiz today.
The quiz was confusing and brain draining.
However, I did pretty well for the quiz.
It was an online test, so I was to view my marks.

Tomorrow will be doing Java practical, which I hate the most.
I hope I can make it through.
Pray for me :) :) :)

XD

XP

;)

Two more days to go...

2006-06-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Two more days to go before the e-learning week ends.
I really can't wait till that day comes.

Went to school to complete my other assignments again.
However, today was much more relaxing as compared to the past 2 days.
Completed Mathematics and ITOS.
Now, I'm left with the most difficult assignment to complete... And that is none other than the module JAVA.
You will never know how difficult this module can be until you really try it yourself.
But giving up is not an option.
To get into the course I want in my 2nd year, I'll do everything by all means to accomplish my goal.
As a saying goes "No pain, no gain."

Here's wishing you happy vacation.